In the next post, I'll get into a little more detail on how this selection process is going to work. In the meantime, here's the letter:
To Whom It May Concern:
I'm a 26 year die-hard sports fan. I'm in more fantasy sports leagues than I'd care to admit. My house is adorned with pictures and memorabilia of my favorite teams (Dodgers, Lakers, and University of Alabama). I'll watch just about any sporting event that comes on TV. I have just one problem: I have no NFL team.
This is why I'm writing you (along with the other 31 teams). I need an NFL team to call my own. For too long it has been the one major sport I could casually watch without any real emotional investment, flipping between games to catch the biggest game of the day while monitoring the guys I have on my fantasy team. I am ready to settle down and find a team to spend the rest of my life with. Over the course of the next year, I intend to choose that team, to commit to them, and to support them whole-heartedly for the rest of my life. The selection process will be very thorough, as I will examine each team on its different attributes including tradition, current make-up, location, fan-base, uniforms, and various others. I will keep a running blog (www.singlewhitefan.com) and Twitter account (www.twitter.com/singlewhitefan) throughout the selection process in order to document how the search is going, who has been eliminated, and ultimately which team I choose.
This is no small task for me as I take my "fandom" very seriously. Therefore, I am asking you to make it clear to me why I should become a fan of your team. Please show me what it is about your team that will make my lifetime investment worthwhile. Boast of your merits, convince me of your potential, or bribe me with free stuff. Whatever best makes your case.
While I want to know why I should support your team, it is only fair that I explain why you would want me as a fan. First of all, I'm extremely loyal. My allegiance to the Dodgers, Lakers, and the University of Alabama goes back as far as I can remember and has remained consistently firm. While this loyalty has paid off with some unbelievable memories of buzzer-beating wins, monumental upsets, and the thrill of championships, it has also resulted in heart wrenching losses, silent drives home along southern roads from rival stadiums and midnight trips to the grocery store to avoid watching highlights of blown games. I also do my part economically. I buy merchandise (officially licensed of course), I subscribe to television packages to watch as many games as possible, and I plan my vacation and weekend schedules around attending games in person. I've only missed one University of Alabama home football game in the last eight years (I was in Ethiopia) and travel whenever possible to see the Dodgers and Lakers (including trips to Atlanta, St. Louis, Memphis, Orlando, Cincinnati, and of course Los Angeles). Overall, I make the teams I follow a major priority in my life and support them fervently and whole-heartedly.
So, in summary, I'm a single white fan seeking an NFL team to love and I need you to convince me that your team is the right team for me. Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Jason Spires
Single White Fan
I know that just as Ray Boltz new single says "Don't Tell Me Who To Love", I can't simply tell you who to love, but I will recommend the Pats. I know Boston is a nemesis in basketball, but this is technically Foxboro. I need a drafting partner to pull for the Patriots with me.
ReplyDeleteOk, so I'm glad you are looking for an NFL team. I hope I can help out.
ReplyDeleteI would be honored to have you as a part of Steeler Nation (member since 1994), but I don't know if you want to bandwagon jump, and they did win the Super Bowl last year. Throw that out the window. Here is why I think you should be a Steeler's fan.
(Sidenote: While you love Alabama, you don't seem like the kind of guy who is going to choose a team based on the Alabama alum on that team. "Oh, I have to cheer for the Rams, 49ers, Texans, Cardinals, Steelers, Chiefs, Redskins, Ravens, and Falcons! They are chocked full of Bama players!" That's garbage, and I hate people who cheer for teams because of one guy. Like the 2006 Super Bowl. Seahawks/ Steelers. Everyone down here was cheering for the Seahawks because they had Shaun, and he was a Bama boy. Ok, agreed, but DeShea Townsend started for the Steelers, and he is a Bama boy too. My point is, that becomes a problem.)
Don't torture yourself and choose a really crappy team. Just don't do it. That eliminates St. Louis, Detroit, San Francisco, Tampa Bay, Oakland, Kansas City, Buffalo, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Jacksonville
Don't torture yourself and pick a team that is bad, but tries really hard, loses alot of close games, doesn't QUITE sneak into the playoffs or may make it in but you know they aren't doing anything. This is just not a good situation. So that eliminates Houston, New Orleans, Miami, New York Jets, Seattle, Washington, Carolina, Denver, Dallas, Minnesota, New York Giants (even though they won it 2 years ago).
You are left with these teams:
ReplyDeleteNFC- Philadelphia, Atlanta, Chicago, Green Bay, Arizona
AFC- New England, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Indianapolis, Tennessee, San Diego
I don't know why, on God's green earth, you would willingly cheer for an NFC team, but if you must throw them into the conversation, Arizona is only good as long as Kurt Warner stays at the level at which he is currently playing. That franchise is not a good franchise.
Don't choose Atlanta. They have a good qb, a solid team, blah blah blah. They are the super sexy pick that are not going to be able to sustain any kind of success. Atlanta is Ole Miss: pop up every few years with some big buzz, but never can quite live up to the hype.
The Eagles, well, I hate the Eagles. I can think of no positives to say about them. If you choose the Eagles after waiting 26 years, I will probably disown you as a friend.
Indianapolis is out for you, I think, because of one Peyton Manning.
San Diego is post-2005 USC-- Always super hyped, but never wins the big one. Or maybe they're Ohio State. I don't know, its just not a good situation.
I feel the same about Tennessee as I do about Philadelphia.
This leaves:
NFC- Chicago, Green Bay
AFC- New England, Baltimore, Pittsburgh
Here I am going to make the case that the NFC is inferior to the AFC. The NFC is inferior to the AFC. The NFC games are on FOX, and that sucks, the NFC is weaker. Basically if you choose NFC over AFC you are choosing the Big 10 over the SEC (in terms of quality of football.)
This leaves:
New England, Baltimore, Pittsburgh
I cannot tell you to pick one of Pittsburgh's division rivals. The Philly/Tennessee Principle is in effect here, leaving you with New England and Pittsburgh.
New England is a great team, and I respect Bellichek immensely, but do you really want to jump onto the Boston Bandwagon? As a Laker fan, you're going to cheer for a Boston team? Really?
Plus, they are a sexier team to root for than the DEFENDING SUPERBOWL CHAMPIONS.
Your only real choice is Pittsburgh. We have an incredible franchise (most Super Bowls in NFL history), stability in the program (3 coaches since 1969-- yes that's right, Noll, Cowher, Tomlin. That's that ownership at work.), an incredible fan base, a rich tradition, and many hall of famers. Pittsburgh is basically the Alabama of the NFL. They play hard nosed, smash mouth, drive down the field on the ground football, and they kill you with their defense. The Steelers are a great extension of Bama football in the NFL. It would be an easy team for you to cheer for.
It would be an honor to have you as a part of Steeler Nation. Please accept my invitation to be a Steeler for life.
Jake
I think it would behoove you to ignore the statement from above posting pasted below:
ReplyDelete"Don't torture yourself and pick a team that is bad, but tries really hard, loses [a lot] of close games, doesn't QUITE sneak into the playoffs or may make it in but you know they aren't doing anything. This is just not a good situation..."
That is only for the time being. This is a life decision. It would not be prudent of you cancel out any 'bad' teams, that happen to be 'bad' currently. Not good advice.
And the second post after one referenced above bleeds 'Bammer' (even though there are some good points before the voice of Bear came out).
I know you are a hard core Alabama fan, but again, I believe it would behoove you to be as unbiased as possible and take all other league/sport franchises and their similarities/likenesses out of the equation or you will not find a true answer for the NFL. The NFL - in many ways - does not operate like the MLB, NBA or NCAA. Just an observation to consider.
I don't have any comments to make (as I don't have a team in the NFL either), but I have to say that you're freaking hilarious. You rock, Spires.
ReplyDelete- Jon David
Jake - Wow. Thanks for the breakdown. Can't say I disagree with most of what you said. Steelers are definitely a great franchise all around. I definitely don't want to be accused of band-wagon jumping, but if at the end of this they're the best team for me, I'll go with it.
ReplyDeletePtheImp- If the "voice of the Bear" told me which team to pick, it'd be heard not to listen. You're right in that a bad team now shouldn't disqualify a team for the future, but that bad team needs to show it has intentions of not being bad in the future.
JD- Thanks man. I appreciate it.
PART 1 of 2:
ReplyDeleteHey SWF, I love the blog and love what you are trying to do and how you're going about it. All around a great idea.
My name is Jake, but not the Steeler Jake. Steeler Jake makes a few good points but I've been around a lot of Steeler fans in my life (I don't know why, they just find me) and they are very annoying, dirty, nasty fans. I mean have you ever been to Pittsburg? Have you seen how gross that city and its inhabitants are? Before you pick your NFL team I would highly suggest that you visit the actual city first to see if you like it or can even tolerate the city, it's people, and most importantly the fans and the stadium etc. If you ever have the displeasure of visiting Pittsburg you will find the fans are very annoying and cocky and the women fans can easily be mistaken for men - seriously gross. It's a grey dingy city overall so if you're from LA make sure you actually like the city, fans and stadium.
Here is where I invite you to join my team - The Minnesota Vikings. Now non-Vikings fans will tell you that the Vikings suck because we lost 4 superbowls way back in the 70s and don't get me started on the 1998 season or Gary Anderson, but I think you need to have a bit of trialing times in your team's past so that you can appreciate the present and teh future successes. Hey at least we made it to 4 superbowls in the 70s behing our purple people eaters defense!
Also we did win the NFC North division last year, but that's just a 1st step to an improving team and franchise. There are a lot of things to get ligitamately excited about in Vikings Nation -
mainly the Vikings team and players. This should be priority #1 on your list. First let me state clearly that I hate Farve, I don't want him on my beloved Vikings team, and I hope he gets a season-ending injury so I never have to see him in purple again. He will always be a Packer to me and he has been the Vikings #1 Public Enemy for 2 decades so seeing the man in purple just about makes my head explode every Sunday. That being said he looks like he's made out of glass this year when I see him on the field so I know it's just a matter of time before he shatters into a million pieces and I won't have to see him playing for my team anymore. Hopefully the young new San Fran defense can do me a huge favor this week...
CONTINUED ON NEXT COMMENT....
PART 2 of 2:
ReplyDeleteBack to the players, you gotta love this team (outside of Farve).
The obvious 1st guy to talk about is my boy AD (Adrian "All Day" Peterson). If you haven't watched this guy play he is hands down the best and most exciting player in the NFL right now. Not only did he lead the league in rushing last year, but did you see that run against Cleveland in week 1?!? He punched two guys in the face on his way to a 65 yard TD! You gotta love this guy and you know he'll be around for a long time. The next guy I'm excited about is Percy Harvin - our 1st round draft pick this year. This kid already has 2 TD's in 2 weeks and is going to be just as exciting to watch as AD in the coming years. Other solid players on offense are Shiancoe our TE, Berrian at WR, and Steve Hutchinson and that huge O-line. As soon as we get a franchise QB our offense will be unstoppable. Trust me my owners are committed to getting a franchise QB ASAP. Don't listen to all the haters. They don't know squat.
Now to the Defense. Up front you have the Williams wall of Pat and Kevin. We have been ranked #1 in rush defense 3 years in a row because of these two guys. Next we have Jared Allen at DE who scares the crap out of every QB in the league as he had 15 sacks last year - top 5 in the NFL in sacks. Our LB core is solid with EJ Henderson flying around the field and our secondary is solid with Antoine Winfiled as the most sure tackler in the league. We have a top 5 defense not only this year but well into the future. You gotta pick a team with defense or you'll be miserable watching them on Sundays.
How can you not love the Vikings as a team?! I will admit we need a better QB, but if you wait to join Vikings Nation once we do get a franchise QB then you'll look like a bandwagon jumper and that's just about the worst thing to be accused of as a fan in the NFL. (One more good reason to not be a Steelers fan.)
I would love to go on but I don't want this to turn into a novel. However I will make one crucial final point for you.
Since you're a Dodgers and a Lakers fan I assume you live in LA. As you know there are currently no NFL franchises in LA which is probably why you are seaching for an NFL team to join. Well what if there WAS an NFL team in LA? What if your new NFL team was the leading front-runner to move to LA? What if you joined that team now before they moved to LA, fell in love with that team, and a few years later your new favorite NFL team actually moved to LA?? Would that not be the coolest thing ever for you? Of course it would! Let me present to you the new Las Angeles Vikings! Yes it would make me very sad to see yet another Minnesota franchise move to Laker-land, but from your perspective wouldn't that be the ultimate team to join? You could become a Vikings fan now, before we get a franchise QB and before we move to LA, so nobody will accuse you of being a bandwagon jumper or a homer, but then when we do get a QB and move to LA you will have the best of both worlds - be a part of an awesome NFL fan nation AND have the team magically move to your city so you can go to all the games you want! No other NFL team can offer this to you. Why would you choose a team like Pittsburg when you can have a local NFL team in LA? It's the perfect fit and I'm sure you would agree. Vikings nation is full of very friendly welcoming fans (and good looking lady fans), so may I be the first to welcome you with open arms if you so choose to join us.
Let me know if you have any questions as I would be happy to answer them. Thank you for your consideration.
-Minnesota Jake
PS: One more quick parallel: The Lakers colors are purple and gold and the Vikings colors are purple and gold... I'm just sayin'...
One last comment.
ReplyDeleteThe only reason the Buffalo Bills and Detriot Lions got back to you is that nobody wants to be a fan of either franchise. I know Buffalo has a special place in your heart for responding to you first, but honestly do you really want to be a Buffalo Bills fan? And the Detriot Lions are on a 19 game losing streak. Need I say more?? They are the most sorry team in the NFL this decade. Matt Millen killed that team years ago and it will take them another decade to climb out of that black hole.
The bottom line is you don't want to join a perenial losing team (Detriot) but you also don't want to join a team like the Steelers, Pats or Colts that have all peeked or are just at their peek as you have already missed out on the best years for those franchises. In the NFL no team dominates for more than a few years, maybe 7 years tops. The NFL is a parity league which is what makes being an NFL fan so exciting. Any team can win it all in any given year. Look at the Cardinals last year? Did anyone have them going to the Superbowl last year??
You should want to join a team that's solid today but is also an up-and-comer so you can enjoy the ride to the top. One more reason my friend to be a Minnesota.... err... LA Vikings fan.
Sorry for all the bad spelling. I know it's "Los Angeles" not "Las Angeles". I'm going to just stick to "LA" instead...
ReplyDeleteOK pal I'm from Canada so take this with a grain of salt. RAIDERS! There I said it and I stand behind it. Oh I know it's very sexy now to diss the Raiders and the Warren Sapps and Rich Gannons find Al Davis, the most paiionate owner in the NFL, an easy target. You want history, 11 angry men, Pride and Poise ( my favorite ), Commitment to Excellence and we were the first with the whole "Nation" business. 3 Super Bowls too many Hall of Famers to mention, right now they are reloading. Thye have the best cornerback, punter, placekicker in the NFL. The head coach punched out an assistant. We're too paranoid to even acknowledge that we might be paranoid. The only NFL team that does not belong to the scouting combine. Sorry we don't share! In closing welcome to the outlaws of the NFL and remember rule 1 "Just win, Baby"
ReplyDeleteI assume that a canadian recommendation is the kiss of death. Raiders eliminated.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same situation as you haha
ReplyDelete