A large portion of my life is defined and controlled by sports and the teams that I love. Right now, those teams are the Lakers, the Dodgers, and the University of Alabama. There's one glaring hole in my sports fan resume...an NFL team. For a 26 year old American male, that is completely unacceptable.
Now don't get me wrong, I love watching the NFL as much as anyone, I'm just not invested. I appreciate everything that is going on and may cheer for a player or two if they're on my fantasy team or if ESPN ran some sob story about the backup left guard having to raise his thirteen siblings by himself while working nights at Krystal as a 15 year-old, but that's about as far as my emotional attachment reaches. Never has watching a team lose left me paralyzed on the couch for hours. Never has watching a team win sent me into some strange state of euphoria where I hug everyone in sight. It's a casual relationship. It's convenient, non-commital, and empty.
I'm ready to change that. I'm ready to settle down and be a one-team man. I want to look forward to and dread Sunday afternoons, knowing that my week will be far too heavily impacted by something over which I have absolutely no control. Now, I'm not looking for a team to root for this season, or even for the next few. I'm choosing for a lifetime. I'm sure that choosing a spouse will be almost as important of a decision one day, but as of now this may be the most life-rendering choice I've ever made. You see, I was born into fandom of my other teams through my Father's allegiance. It was nature and nurture. This is different. This is the first time I have ever had to actually choose a team, and I must confess, I'm scared to death.
So what do I bring to the table as a fan? I think I can explain this best through a few random facts: I bought a house and realized the only pictures I have are Dodgers\Lakers\Alabama related. I never had a pair of Air Jordan's, but did have a pair of Air Nomo Max's (proof -
http://www.instyleshoes.com/
I walked around Walmart until 2 a.m. alone after the Lakers blew a 30 point lead in the Finals to avoid watching highlights. I drove over 20 hours and spent too much money to watch the Lakers close out the championship in Orlando. I have a Nick Van Exel Lakers jersey. I stopped dating a girl because she brought magazines to an Alabama football game. I cried in my bathroom the night Kobe got arrested. I sent Tim Tebow's brother a facebook message to try to sell him on Tim committing to Alabama. My vacation schedule is normally scheduled around when the Lakers and Dodgers are within driving distance or what bowl Alabama is going to. I'm writing this from the backseat of my Dad's jeep as we drive from Cincinnati to Alabama after watching the Dodgers\Reds. My friend and I rewrote "We Didn't Start the Fire" to be a song about Alabama football (we are up to four verses). (It just became increasingly clear to me why "single" still applies).
Are tons of people more fanatical than me? Absolutely, but I'm definitely above average. Not to toot my own horn, but I'd be a heck of an asset to any NFL fan-base if you ask me.
So how am I going to pick a team? Good question. Here's the plan (in short):
First, I'm going to spend the next few months looking at each team and the attributes of each. I will go into more detail of this in the future, but basically I'm going to look at and rank these attributes (updating these rankings as I learn something new, as things happen during the season, or if I just change my mind) and this is going to play a major factor in the decision. This is a lifetime commitment, so I'm going to do my due diligence.
Secondly, I'm sending a letter to every NFL team asking them to make their case as to why they're the team for me. Where will this lead? Who knows. Maybe a form letter they send to every fan that mails them. Maybe I get a free t-shirt (and don't underestimate the power of a bribe). Maybe Jerry Jones arranges a charter flight for me to join him in the owner's box for every home game so he can wine and dine me and teach me what it means to be a Cowboy. I am fully prepared for any of these possibilities. Regardless, I'm going to be thrilled just to hear back from a team and I will post any of these responses as I get them.
Third, I'm hoping that a few people take the time to read this, follow this, and try to advise me. Maybe you want me to pick your team. Maybe you decide "you know, I really hate this guy" so you want me to pick your rival. Maybe you will just say "man, this guy would make a great _____ fan". I would be thrilled with ANY of that. In reality, a total of 5 people will ever actually read this, 3 of them will be family, and by the time I pick a team I will be both the author and the lone reader, but that's ok, I will have an NFL team. But, if for whatever reason you do read this, let me know what you think whether you know the team for me, or if I'm completely wrong about your team. I trust you know more about some of these teams than me. Educate me. Advise me. Persuade me.
So here we go. Consider this my personal E-Harmony page. I'm ready to settle down and pick the team that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.
I applaud your valiant efforts for finding true love/fandom. I can sympathize with you as to why you are single and see this as a "good problem."
ReplyDeleteI'll share my sentiments, briefly as to why you should be an Indianapolis Colts fan:
1. The Indianapolis Colts are good at breaking up with people. Example: 1984, the Colts up and leave a sterile Balmere (Baltimore) and move to Indianapolis (?) - ok maybe not the best move (location, location, location), but they were decisive. Made a decision and have yet to look back. Someone knew that the corruption of Balmere was currosive and impending (i.e.; The Wire). In summary, you can't trust women or Balmere - and especially a woman from Balmere.
2. The Colts were the first NFL team to beat ALL other 31 NFL teams. Chew on that one for a while.
3. The Colts have two of the winningest and most storied quarterbacks in the history of football. One wore and the other wears, #18. Respectively, Johnny Unitas and Peyton Manning.
4. You look good in Colts blue.
5. The Colts are the first team in league history to win at least 12 games in five and now six consecutive seasons, after '08.
Take it or leave it.
Jason,
ReplyDeleteGreat blog. I thought you might need some airtime on ESPN or the NFL Network so I sent this to each place.
I have a suggestion for a story. There is a sports fanatic in Birmingham AL with a blog about how he doesn't have an NFL team to follow and he is on a quest to find one. Here is his blog http://www.singlewhitefan.com/. I know him personally and I think ESPN could make a great season long story out of this, maybe send him to some stadiums to help him out with his quest.
No team's harder to be a fan of than the Bills. If you can be a Bills fan, it says something about your character.
ReplyDeleteMaybe next season, you can pick a favorite NHL team. It's the last of the "Big Four" sports that you don't have an affiliation with.
ReplyDeleteJason,
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome. Just pure awesome. Good luck!!
Matt Laney
first and foremost....roll tide. i am in a similar situation. i bounce from nfl team to nfl team based solely on which teams have bama players. since you pro allegiance seems to be toward LA teams it only makes sense to keep in the area for the sake of travel expenses. the 49ers are my newly adopted team because A) they picked up coffee and B) i coach singeltary. kansas city has been one my teams since derrick thomas and now they have brodie but to be hobnest its hard to root for one of the shittiest organizations in football. if they begin to heavily draft OL then they may get back in my circle of trust. there is a team....a team i can root for without bama ties (even though they have fernando bryant) its a team with great tradition like bama , great coaching, great ownership and a great fan base. IMHO its THE team to adopt for any floater fan out there. the pittsburgh steelers. i know i know...they are the defending super bowl champs and that seems like just following the trend and joining the bandwagon of whoever won the last one. not the case...i'm a steelere fan because of the ownership, coaching, players and fanbase....when you have these things the super bowl victories will follow. they have the best ownership in the league. they hire a coach and stand back and let hi9m coach and keep him for as long as possible.
ReplyDeleteJason:
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a great marketing guy and your sales pitch is brilliant..Hopefully it it will get you some $$s..
Pro sports are nothing but pure business for teams to get fan's money. You are doing just the Oppossite..what can be great than that..Cheers !!
Good luck and ROLL TIDE my Bama brother!
ReplyDeleteHey,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, great blog and great idea. Good luck with your choice.
Now I will try to convince you to choose my team by using the criteria you are basing your decision on.
The New York Jets are a great team to be a part of.
A. We have great rivals, like the Patriots and Dolphins who always offer god games to watch. We also have Broadway Joe Namath( you may have heard of him from Alabama) as one of the most famous quarterbacks in history. Plus he helped lead the Jets to win SuperBowl 3, while being heavy underdogs, and brought the first victory for the AFL/AFC. We've had our up years and our down years but it has been a fun ride so far.
B. We're located in NY. Now can you think of a better place to visit with more history and diversity. The greatest city on Earth is a great place to live, plus you will be able to watch home games in our new stadium that should be coming out in a year or two, which we graciously share with the Giants. How admirable and humanitarian of both teams.
C. We're not some silly animal that doesn't even exist in our state. Jets are powerful and magnificent and are a wonderful emblem for describing a team. Not to mention our classy colors of green and white. Not too abrasive but nice.
D. The fans are intense and passionate about their team and won't settle for anything less than great( as they often show in the stands). We do, however, stand by our team through it all. Our leader: Fireman Ed. There with his Jets Fireman helmet he leads Jets chants and riles up the fans around him.
E. We also have great players and coaches right now to root for like Sanchez, Darrelle Revis, Rex Ryan, Kerry Rhodes, Shaun Ellis, Cotchery, and Thomas Jones to name a few. They are passionate about the game and take it quite seriously.
F. As for intangibles, all I can offer you here is the Jets newly acquired Flight Crew(cheerleaders). We finally got something to look at in the stands, in case the game is a blow-out. They are new and ready to prove themselves. Good luck on choosing your team. I think the NYJ should be strongly considered.
In defense of the Tennessee Titans:
ReplyDeleteI think the Titans fit your needs quite well.
First, they're geographically convenient for you (assuming you're somewhere in the TN/AL/GA area, which it sounds like you are).
Second, this is a hard-nosed, smash-mouth football team, in the 3-yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust vein, much like the SEC teams with which you are no doubt familiar. In the South, we love our defense, and the Titans generally provide that in spades. This kind of attitude should be something you find attractive in an NFL team.
Third, we have one of the best coaches in the league in Jeff Fisher, a man who melted my late Grandmother's heart and, little known fact, can actually fight right up there with Chuck Norris and Tim Tebow were he ever in a back alley caught between a brick wall and ninjas.
Fourth, close your eyes and picture what you think someone named "Cortland Finnegan" looks like and does for a living. Sounds like a wimpy little lawyer, accountant, Irish pub owner, or some mix of the three. Turns out he's one of the most feared cornerbacks in the game, and he's ours. Also, any good American would want to support our #45, Iraq-war veteran Ahmard Hall, one of the toughest fullbacks anywhere.
Fifth, a disclaimer: The Tennessee Titans are in no way associated with the orange team from Knoxville. In fact, with the recent departure of Albert Haynesworth, there are no former Vols on the roster. Finnegan, however, went to tiny Samford, right around the corner from you.
For those reasons and plenty more, the Tennessee Titans are the team for you. So do yourself and us a favor, be a good American, and do my Granny proud...come on up to Nashville and be a Titan!
I could go into a long schpeel about why you should hop on the black and gold train, but instead I'll just drop you a 'Who dat?!?!'
ReplyDeleteda bears
ReplyDeletefirst of all who dat? only refers to the saints' defense when someone actually makes a play for them and anyone watching the game thinks who was that? thats just how terrible there defense is and it will for sure be exposed in the coming weeks.
ReplyDeleteSecondly the fans and players of Philadelphia would love to call you their newest philly phanatic and let me tell you why.
While if your an outsider of Philly, the media makes it seem like we're terrible fans that just like to harrass and intimidate, from an insiders perspective you'd understand that its just pure passion for our team. We've come as close as a team can to being crowned champions throughout this decade but haven't been able to bring it home. Eagles fans like myself have been waiting since 1960 for an NFL Championship, and when we get oh-so-close 6 or 7 times it can get frustrating. We like to boo, we love to imtimidate other fans when they come to philly, and we dont have the best relationship with santa, but no fans have a deeper passion than Eagles fans. Steelers fans will argue differently but they're a bunch of spoiled hillbillys. Patriot fans are just as spoiled, they start 1-2 and the world is coming down.
The Eagles have been the best team in the NFC this decade. We've been in the playoffs nearly every year this decade and the futures lookin good for the team. This past draft we picked up McCoy, who displayed last week that he could be a viable replacement for Westbrook once he gets too old, which is happening quickly. DeSean Jackson has displayed over the past two years that he is a deep play threat, with similar skills to that of Steve Smith, but with a harder work ethic and much less of an attitude. Brent Celek came out of nowhere last season and hasnt slowed down ealry this year either, he's gonna be a household name soon. Donovan has proven year in and year out that he is without a doubt a top 3 QB in this league. He's lead this team all decade deep into the playoffs, with nearly no supporting cast some years. He's one of the toughtest players in the NFL, he threw for over 350 and 4 TD's against the Cardinals on a broken ankle that he sufford early in the game. Our defense has been a force for years as well. This year is no exception even without future star MLB Stewart Bradley. Our secondary has always been tops in the NFL with players like Sheldon Brown, Lito Shephard, Brian Dawkins, Mike Lewis, Bobby Taylor, Troy Vincent, and Asante Samuel all making pro-bowls in the last 9 years with the eagles.
Ever since Andy Reid showed up in Philly this team has been a top 5 team year in and year out. That trend is set to continue into the next decade with the pieces set into place to make a run this year and in years to come. If you want a team to love with all that you've got, if you want to be a notorious passionate and intimidating fan, if you want to be a fan of a team that will always put out a competative team every year, come to the city of brotherly love. We'd love to have another brother to root by our sides
The Jets. Broadway Joe.
ReplyDelete--Ray
The Green Bay Packers offer the one thing no other team can: public ownership. No matter what, the Green Bay Packers are a team truly for the fans.
ReplyDeleteFurther reasoning:
Aaron Rodgers can grow a beard to beat any lumberjack north of the equator -- I am not familiar enough with lumberjacks world wide to make this claim global.
Nick Barnett often acts like a Samurai upon doing something good.
AJ Hawk is balling Laura Quinn nightly. And I bet he brags about it to Brady Quinn which is why Quinn can't throw the ball more than 6.5 yards.
Atari Bigby. His name is Atari.
These are but a few reasons.
I'm proud to be your cousin. reader #3. Haha. I married into a Cowboy family. He is actually watching the overtime of the cowboy game right this second for a third time. Strong legacy. Lots of money. I think you should choose them.
ReplyDeleteJesslyn
Yesterday should show you the progress the Kansas City Chiefs have made. They remind me of the first season of the post-shula era bama team. They have begin to cut the DJ Hall's of the team (Larry Johnson.) They have a poor record, but are gaining ground. Consider this history-rich franchise.
ReplyDelete