The Blueprint

So with the letters floating somewhere between the Birmingham post office and the mailboxes of the 31 NFL teams, now seems as good of a time as ever to explain a little more of the nuts and bolts of this search. Since I've been watching the NFL for about twenty years and haven't had any spiritual enlightenments as to what team was right for me yet, I suppose I can't expect this year to be any different without setting some type of guidelines. So in the words of American philosopher Montell Jordan, "This is how we do it."

1) Team Analysis - The NFL teams will be grouped based of their current NFL divisions. Then, on a division by division basis, the teams will be analyzed and scored on the six point-weighted categories below. Each post will analyze a division based on one category. For example, in the first post we may analyze the history/tradition of the AFC South teams, then with the next the NFC South, etc. Once each division is covered, we move to the next category. Divisional standings are kept throughout the season based off the points that are accrued through this analysis as well as the others detailed in this post. The six categories we will look at are as follows :

a) History/Tradition (20 points) - As a rule of thumb, one way to predict the future of a sports franchise is to look at its past. If a team has been a bottom feeder for the past 40 years, odds are they're not about to turn into a dynasty for the next 40. I'm not necessarily looking for the winningest or most storied franchise (though it can't hurt) but for a history/tradition that I'd be proud to associate with my team for whatever trivial reason I so choose.

b) Location (15 points) - This isn't just about which team is the closest. It can be a variety of factors. How easily can I travel there? Is the city somewhere I would want to vacation between September and February? Do I hate the city already? Is it necessary to wear a Teflon vest on the walk to the stadium?

c) Logo/Colors/Uniforms (15 points) - I'd like my team to be aesthetically pleasing.

d) Fanbase (15 points) - If I'm joining a brotherhood of fans, I need to be comfortable with the company I'm going to keep. Are they passionate? Will they ever accept me? Any strange rituals that I would prefer legally to not be associated with?

e) Current Team (20 points) - When it's all said and done, whatever team I commit to at the end of this search is going to closely resemble what that team looks like this season from a personnel prospective. Will players and coaches change in the future? Absolutely. But if I'm not drawn to the current team make-up, it's going to be tough for this commitment to stick. It's going to be hard to pledge allegiance to a team knowing that I can't stand half of its players. Kind of like how you marry a girl for the lifelong, unchanging qualities (or so I've heard), but you're probably going to want to be attracted to her right now as well. Exact same concept.

f) Intangibles (15 points) - This is the gut-feeling and more subjective portion of the program. What is that team's reputation? Do I just have a bad feeling overall? Does the mascot creep me out a little? Did I have a strange dream involving me, Al Davis, and a time-traveling mongoose? It's all fair-game here.2) Weekly Events - In a weekly review post, I'll take a look at the previous week in the NFL (including that weekend's games and anything that may have occurred off the field) and award/deduct points based on those events. I don't mean just wins and losses, I mean anything that gets my attention. For instance, Johnnie Lee Higgins's high-top fade in Week 1 is going to get the Raiders a bonus point. On the other hand, the Bengals will lose one because to give up that game-winning catch to Stokley lends credence to the fact that they're just a cursed franchise and I'm not sure my heart could handle that every week.

We're only talking about a few points here and there each week, but over the course of a season, entertaining me on a consistent basis can pay big dividends for a team. Besides, at its core, isn't true fandom based off immediate overreactions and short-sightedness?

3) Replies to Team Letters - As I receive replies to the letters that have been mailed, I will award points to the teams based on their responses. Let's be honest, an autographed Neil O'Donnel game-worn Super Bowl XXX helmet is going to garner more points for the Steelers than a Seattle Seahawk re-usable grocery bag. Materialistic? Maybe. On the other hand, if some team sends me nothing but a letter and it can make me cry, they're getting big points for that, too.

4)  Fan/Reader Response -Additional points (up to 10) are awarded for arguments/responses (including the poll to the left). I'm the first to admit that if you're a fan of an NFL team, you know more about that team than me. This is why I want you to let me know why you think a team is right for me. The better you argue your team's case, the more points they get. So comment, vote, tweet me, whatever. Just make your own case for what team you think is right for me.

5) Playoffs - Once each division has been scored on each of the categories, the regular season has concluded, and I've given ample time for the teams to respond to my letters (all of which should conclude around the same time as the regular season), the playoffs will begin. Following the NFL format (the top teams in each division and 2 wild cards (based off highest point totals) from each conference) will face off head to head with seedings based off total points. Here, anything goes. I'm not bound by the points previously awarded, though they're definitely a factor, but will look at anything deemed relevant (including the responses and arguments I receive along the way). If there was ever a time to passionately argue your team's merits, this is it. I'll analyze each matchup and select a winner. Just like the big boys do it, we'll go through the Wildard Round, Divisional Playoff, and Conference Championship until we're left with just 2 teams, one NFC and one AFC, facing off for my allegiance, a "Super" match-up if you will.

Once we reach the final matchup, I will painstakingly analyze both teams on every level imaginable over the course of several posts. At the end, I will make one of the toughest decisions I've been faced with in my 26 years and choose the team I am going to commit the remainder of my life to. Simple, right?

With all of that said, I'm looking for feedback, reactions, observations, or anything you think I need to know. Do you think I got a team rating wrong? Tell me. Did I miss something during the week that was worthy of a bonus point? Let me know. Comment, tweet, email, whatever. I want to hear your opinions. I'm not above admitting I was wrong and revising a score as needed. I'm looking for all the information I can get. No one wants to get this pick right more than I do.