Thank Me Later

As you hopefully have noticed, there were no cuts on Friday. I posted via twitter but not on the website that in light of the Holiday Season, I'd give a pass for the week. Things are back to normal this week, however and we move into the "Fanbase" portion of the team analysis. Also, we've got another team response that will be posted soon as well as another big announcement.

Check back later tonight for the team response and as we begin ranking the fanbases.

Movie Stars, One Armed Men, and Flannel - Week 11 Roundup

+2 Baltimore Ravens via The Blindside - Allow SWF to get a little sappy here, but if I were to end up picking the Ravens, there is zero doubt who my favorite player would instantly become. I've never read the book, but I'd heard the story, but seeing Sandra Bullock act it out put the exclamation point on it. Plus, anytime you get to see the Thespian sides of Houston Nutt and Ed Orgeron is a plus.

+1 Kansas City Chiefs via Mr. Relevant - Who is irrelevant now? Mr. Irrelevant 2009 himself Ryan Succop drills a game-winner against the defending Super Bowl Champs.

-1 Houston Texans via Wide Left...Again - You never want to be the NFL kicker who has missed two consecutive game-tying field goals against division rivals...

+1 Detroit Lions via the One Armed Man - I know they've been eliminated, but Matthew Stafford managed to somehow make an NFL game between the 2 worst teams in the league the game of the day. Impressive.

-1 Dallas Cowboys via Wade Phillips' flannel shirt - I realize this is usesless without pictures, but anytime a coach comes to a weekly press conference with a flannel shirt on and the top couple of buttons undone, you better hope you've scored more than 7 points against the Redskins

That's all for this week. Happy Thanksgiving.

E-Mail of the Day

Another great E-mail I received from a Titans fan who also happens to be a good friend of mine.  The email actually begins with a story of a friend who now has connections to Manny Ramirez, which I've left out of here to protect the innocent (and for brevity), but kudos for trying to imply that picking the Titans would assist in my connections to the Dodgers as well. 

dear spires, wait, i mean, single white fan,

disclaimer: as a memphian, i'm probably not supposed to be a titans fan, since the city felt burned when bud adams chose nashville rather than the bluff city but memphians were forced to host the then tennessee oilers in the liberty bowl for a few years while Adelphia Coliseum, known now as LP field, was built in nashville. but as in some of my other sports affiliations i've chose in my life (i.e. choosing at an early age to support the braves when the majority of the paternal side of my family tree has and always will be yankees fans) i elected to choose to support the team.

ok so here are my quick hits on why the titans are and continue to be the only 10 I See:

* JEFF FISHER! to me as someone said yesterday on rick & bubba, he's who i'd want to run my NFL team if i started one from scratch. he's the longest tenured coach with the same team in the NFL being with the team for the past 15 years even when they were in Houston. he played a key role in helping the team trade up to draft eddie george...we all know how great that trade worked in the long run. he's true to his football roots, defense, and the truth of the game. fans, players, other coaches have a strong amount of like and respect for him though he doesn't seem to manage games/make decisions based on what the fans might think. while he's been the coach of the titans, the team has achieved the greatest success in franchise history...first unbeaten home regular season, first ever super bowl appearance, clinch the inaugural AFC South division, first playoff win for the franchise as the titans.

* LP FIELD! did you attend the 2004 music city bowl? if so, you enjoyed the uniqueness that is what is now referred to as LP Field. where it sits right next to the cumberland river, across from downtown which you can reach via the pedestrian bridge, and probably one of my favorite things...that the playing field is below ground level.

* EDDIE GEORGE/STEVE MCNAIR! you know sports, watch sports, read sports, etc so i don't really need to give you too many facts and figures...eddie george is the franchise's leading rusher, ahead of mr. earl campbell. and mr. mcnair, may he rest in peace, shared the mvp award with mr. peyton manning in 2004 and air mcnair holds some records with the other widely known oiler/titan franchise qb, warren moon

* MUSIC CITY MIRACLE! incredible, incredible, incredible! without that play the titans wouldn't have been 1-yd short of the super bowl because without that play the bills would have advanced out of the wild card playoff game rather than the titans. and let's be honest, hearing the call of that play, even if it's on a beer commercial, will and should give you chills every time

*THE NAME! i know the packers hold stake in being the best franchise for fans but when bud adams realized the team needed a new name after the move to tennessee, since clearly there's no oil rigs hanging out across the state, he gave the fans a voice and say in the decision. i'll just say that the name titans seems very fitting to the way jeff fisher coaches and manages his players and the way the players, most of the time, lay it all out on the field (i.e. steve mcnair more than likely playing through an injury during his many seasons with the team)

* HEARTACHE! i'm not going to bring up the frustration and disappointent not making that one-yard created because let's face it no fan wants to reminisce the heartache(i'm not sure i'll ever be able to really discuss what i witnessed at the 2008 national championship game) and you as a faithful fan have endured your fair share of heartache with the tide, lakers, and dodgers. plus, as a titans fan your heart can break when the franchise chooses to not bring back a certain player...i'm not talking pacman, but air mcnair, mr. haynesworth, and jevon "the freak" kearse (but thankfully he's back)

*NASHVILLE! easy to get to---southwest offers great deals from birmingham to nashvegas if you don't want to endure straight up I-65. plus, the city has lots of fun amentities for the historian, outdoorsman, fun-loving fans to go along with the ever enduring southern charm and beautiful seasons.

ok, my friend, i'm going to stop there because i'm sure you receive enough of these emails every day now that you're genuine enough to read and assess. i'm excited about your process and can't wait for you to make some cuts and get closer to your decision.

yours truly,

katie

20 Is Plenty...

So everyone has been scored on equal footing at this point, so the current Bottom 10 is a fair reflection of how things stack up.  As more teams are eliminated, more surprising names start to fall into the purgatory that is the Bottom 10, making for some interesting Elimination Days from here on out.  I feel like at this point, most of the obvious choices have been sent home and we're starting to get to the real meat of this search.  So without further ado, this week's Bottom 10:

Dallas Cowboys (33)

Chicago Bears (32)

San Diego Chargers (32)

Buffalo Bills (32)

Baltimore Ravens (31)

Jacksonville Jaguars (30)

New England Patriots (28)

Houston Texans (28)

Minnesota Vikings (28)

Kansas City Chiefs (28)

And now, onto the cuts.

New England Patriots - First off, I was a little surprised to see them this low at this point in the scoring, but I can't say I'm too terribly disappointed. So why would I want to eliminate arguably the best team of the last decade? I've got my reasons. Number 1, this might be the worst possible time to pick the Patriots. I'd be coming in towards the end of what has been their best run in franchise history, yet they're still good enough to make the selection a little too bandwagonish. Number 2, does anyone want to willingly make themselves a "Boston" fan right now? Granted, the Pats are in Foxboro, but their fan-base is largely comprised of the same folks who call themselves Celtics and Red Sox fans. They're a brash, polarizing bunch and with all due respect, I don't think that's who I'd like to align with at this stage of my life. Boston is just a little too easy to hate right now (and don't act like you don't enjoy it Bostonians).

Jacksonville Jaguars - I struggled with this one.  I truly did.  In the end, there are just too many questions to commit right now.  Where will this team be next year?  Will they even be the Jaguars?  Will they ever not have a home game blacked out for TV?  I realize they could be a high risk/high reward pick if they end up in L.A. or some other great city and turn things around, but it's just too uncertain to commit my next 60 years to.  I have to judge the team on who they are now, and that's a team with terrible colors with no real fanbase to speak of and are rumored to be considering drafting Tim Tebow.  That's a little too much for me to swallow right now.  To be fair, the main thing keeping them in this was the calendar, and that's an awfully shallow thing to build a relationship on...

Get Off My Lawn - Week 10 Roundup

Between teams refusing to score touchdowns, fantasy meltdowns, and 86 year old men doing the double bird cha-cha from their owner's box, quite a strange week in the NFL.

Week 10

+2 to Jacksonville Jaguars via Maurice Jones Drew's Taking a Knee at the 1 - While I was watching this, the only thing I could think of was how if this play backfired, the Jaguars coaching search would begin within the next hour. But it worked, and I approve. MoJo even had the heart to apologize to his fantasy owners afterwards. In fact, a similar play by myself on NCAA Football 2005 on Playstation 2 during my college years resulted in Ken Darby (now of the St. Louis Rams) calling me cheap, dirty, and all kinds of other fun things. Despite the fact that I had angered an SEC/Future NFL running back who outweighed my by approximately 60 lbs of muscle, I stayed true to the strategy, ran the clock down, and punched in the game winning score with just seconds left on the clock. One of my finer moments in life.

-1 Dallas Cowboys via Horrendous Offense - Doesn't it seem like every time the stories start rolling out on how the Cowboys are putting it together and how Romo is turning into the QB they thought he'd be, these games happen?

+2 to the Tennessee Titans via Bud Adams's birds - Inappropriate? Sure. Vulgar? Yes. Entertaining? Absolutely. Come on, the guy is 86 years old and pulls out the double-barrelled bird flip? You can't beat that.
-1 to the Buffalo Bills via the Pink Slip - Because let's face it, if you're firing your coach, things are not at their best.

-1 New England Patriots via Going For It - Let's be honest, if it was anyone but Belichick, you would not have any of the contingency of writers/broadcasters, etc. defending this call. On the same token, it was literally inches away from being one of the most genius calls of the year. Finally, it's the REGULAR SEASON. This loss doesn't do that much harm to the Patriots, so why not take a gamble, right? But, the bottom line is it didn't work and if anyone had any doubt the Colts would punch it in at that point, you were crazy. I appreciate the guts, but if it's my team, I think I'd take my chances make Peyton go 70 yards instead of 20.

-1 Chicago Bears via Jay Cutler - 5 interceptions? Forget the Bears fans, Cutler is singlehandedly killing my fantasy season.

Black Goes With Anything, Right? - Uniforms, Colors, and Logos of the NFC South

After eliminating its third team last week, I realized just what a beating I've given the NFC South in recent weeks. Was it intentional? Not at all, but I think it re-affirms the point that when selecting a team, location is not everything. But you would have to think that this division has to improve from here on, right? Well...

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons - ELIMINATED - The Falcons uniforms have made some upgrades in recent years but I have to ask, where are the black jerseys? There is nothing wrong with the red jerseys but isn't the Falcons primary color black?. The logo itself is pretty bland and is probably due for an overhaul. Until the black jerseys reappear, the Falcons are missing a piece of their identities in my mind.

4/15

Carolina Panthers - ELIMINATED - The Panthers and Jaguars came into the league together, both decided to use some form of a cat as a mascot, and both went with a shade of blue dangerously close to teal. I'll give the Panthers a slight edge over their counterparts due to a less cartoony logo, a slightly more respectable blue, and the inclusion of the occasional black jersey. Still, when it comes down to it, the Panthers uniforms, color, and even their fonts look like they're straight from the 90's (which they are), resulting in a look that is neither modern nor classic, just outdated.

4/15

New Orleans Saints - ELIMINATED - Perhaps no logo is more reflective of a team's city than the Saints' Fleur-de-Lis. Outside of the logo, for a city as exciting and different as New Orleans, wouldn't you expect some uniforms that are a little less, well, plain? The black and gold are a little dull for the home of Mardi Gras, but even with those colors they could spice their look up instead of the black on black with the block numbers. I'll give the fans credit for their originality in the stands, but the team doesn't reflect it in their attire on the field.

6/15

Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Quite possibly my favorite uniforms in the NFL, even more impressive when you consider these things transpired from an earlier puke-orange version that may have been one of the all-time worst. The logo is near perfect (much better than the previous Johnny Depp version) and the colors are not just unique, they're beautiful. I hope that the wizard that suggested going with pewter has been given a fat raise a nice comfy corner office.

14/15

Something Old, Something New, Something Teal, Something Blue - Uniforms, Colors, and Logos of the AFC South

Coming down the home-stretch of this category, we move to our last regions, the Dirty South. First up, the AFC. Lots of shades of blue in this division, some good, some bad and some unnecessary...

AFC South

Houston Texans - A lot of times, the expansions teams try to do "too much" uniform wise, usually resulting in a cartoonish logo, a color scheme that becomes outdated within only a few years, and uniforms that lack any kind of classic feel. The Texans, however, are an exception. They went for a relatively simple and traditional look and it paid off. A just-bold-enough blue and red combination, they even throw in a little pizazz with the alternate red jerseys. Granted, when they go with the "all-red" the O-Line starts to resemble the Kool-Aid man, but they're still by far the best look for any of the newer teams.

11/15

Indianapolis Colts - Dear Colts, never, ever change these. They've really got one color, and it's the quite possibly the perfect shade of blue. The white helmets with the blue horseshoe are as sharp as any in the league, and the white pants and white stripes on the jerseys are the perfect, simple, touch. Probably the cleanest and sharpest looking uniforms in the league.

13/15

Jacksonville Jaguars - Unlike the Texans, who went for a simple uniform/color scheme, the Jaguars wanted to make an impression. Unfortunately, they ended up looking like one of the fake teams on those Nintendo games that couldn't get NFL licensing along with the California Typhoons and the Oklahoma Sidewinders. I'm not sure if it's the blue-tongued cat on the side of the helmets or if it's just tough to take a team wearing teal seriously, but let's hope that if the Jags leave Jacksonville, they'll leave the logo and colors there as well.

3/15

Tennessee Titans - Since the Chargers gave up the powder blue, the Titans are probably the next closest thing (though it's labeled as Titan blue. Which brings me to another point: have you ever looked at what these teams' "official" colors are and realized how many call them (Insert Team Name) Blue or (Insert Team Name) Red, or something like Victory Gold or Touchdown Green? It's a little ridiculous and doesn't describe the actual color at all, but I digress) I personally think the best things the Titans could do is ditch the navy and commit to one shade of blue. I find myself liking the throwback Oilers uniforms better than the Titans' ones, and I'm really not sure what their logo is supposed to be. These fall in the "Way too much going on" category and are a simplification away from a really good-looking uniform.

6/15

This Old Thing? I've Been Wearing This For Years - Uniforms, Colors, and Logos of the NFC North

The color/logo/uniform analysis continues with a look at the NFC North. Lots of history in this division and very little change in the uniforms, but is that always a good thing?

NFC North

Chicago Bears - Yes, I realize these uniforms haven basically never changed and that's great, but the fact that they've paired navy and orange for 80 years now doesn't make it look any better today. Maybe it's just the fact that I find navy to be the most boring color outside of light gray.  I'm sure these uniforms conjure up all kinds of emotions for the die-hards in Chicago, but take out the history and I don't think they do much for anyone else.   I'll give them credit for branching out with the orange jerseys and the fact that their actual bear logo is pretty cool, but overall these are just kind of a bore.

5/15

Detroit Lions -ELIMINATED - Maybe it's the shade of blue along with the silver, but the Lions uniforms have always made me think of astronauts (don't ask me to explain). I have to be honest, however, in that I don't like the helmets or the logo itself. I've always gotten the impression that they slapped the first sticker of a Lion that they could find on the side and it's stuck ever since (though they did update the Lion a couple years back to make it a little more "fierce"). The blue and silver is ok, but next time we update the Lion, can we actually update the Lion?

4/15

Green Bay Packers - It doesn't really get much more distinctive than these.  The green and yellow combo is probably the most unique in the league.  So does it look good?  That's debatable.  I think the Packers uniforms and colors have been generally accepted over the years because of their history with most people overlooking what an odd color scheme this really is outside of Eugene, Oregon and for our tractor loving brethren.  Still, I'm a big fan of originality and personally, I like the boldness here.

12/15

Minnesota Vikings -  As I've previously pointed out, I have no problems admitting that I like the color purple.  The Vikings don't do a bad job with the color.  The helmets are pretty cool as long as you're aware that the white logo on the side is supposed to be a Viking horn, but I'm not sold on the actual logo (the guy has a braid for Pete's sake).  I've always thought these uniforms had a lot of potential and were a few tweaks away from being great (though I have clue what those tweaks would be), but they're still above average as it is.

9/15

E-Mail of the Day

This is an email I received early on from a Browns fan. Granted, I've since eliminated the Browns, but after reading this I can't help but wonder if it was a huge mistake.  Ok, maybe not, but it's a funny e-mail nevertheless.

I have been a Brown’s fan since I was about 8, which is tough to explain since I grew up in Washington DC while the Redskins were at their peak. In any event, since our franchise is not responding in a timely manner, I would like to take up the banner on our behalf.

Let me explain why the Browns are the way to go. Right now you are getting in at rock bottom. This is important to true fandom since you can then talk about the sad times; your expectations are minimal; and things can only get better. Not only does this give you credibility, it has other benefits as well:
1) Merchandise is generally much cheaper.

2) If and when the team achieves greatness you will enjoy it more. For instance, were you to shack up with the Steelers you have nothing but frustration and impossible expectations ahead of you.

3) You will get to continue being a huge college football fan, since the biggest win on your horizon is the draft.

4) You are not geographically bound. Let's face it, anyone who is not from New York but swears they bleed for the Yankees is just douchey. Same goes for non-Dallas connected Cowboys fans, etc. Bad teams don't have this problem, no one cares, and people who are from there are just glad the outside world knows they still exist.

5) You can just complain about the coach or ownership and immediately sound knowledgeable and tuned in.

Taking these five point into consideration, the Browns are a perfect team to fall in love with. To wit:

(1) You can get gear for a steal right now. (see, Stallworth jersey on ebay. Sale expected on Quinn shortly.)

(2) We are horrid. Suffering through this season will give you a foundation to enjoy anything that comes next. The only thing we are looking forward to is the draft. (Fun fact - did you know that our team was so stacked at QB this year we traded down from the 6th pick all the way to the second round?! Second fun fact - that guy who went 6th in the draft is a QB who is 3-0 as a starter right now. Third fun fact, we've gone 9 games without a touchdown, which is odd because of our high draft status.)

(3) You can actually show your true colors by being a huge college fan and discussing how much (insert any player at any position) will help get the (insert offense, defense, and/or special teams) straightened out.

(4) If you are sporting a Brown's hat, jersey, shirt or even brown pants that have nothing to do with the team, other Brown's fans will immediately appreciate you and no one will find you douchey. It becomes an easy conversation starter. Everyone else will immediately assume you are a person of good character who doesn't jump ship at the first sign of trouble.

(5) Finally, when you do encounter your new brothers in arms, you can immediately fit in by bashing the coaching (Mangini) and owners (Lerners) and discussing how much better it will be when (insert high-profile out of work coach/college coach) is hired, and/or LeBron James buys the team.

To put some nice 22's on this Bentley, the Browns are also gambling locks right now. No matter how many points they are getting (and yes, they are ALWAYS getting), you can take the opponent and roll the game into a two-team parlay. Love that pays - you can't ask for more.

Some other compelling facts - the Dawg Pound predates the Black Hole and the Lambeau Leap. Because the division is so good, many games are often nationally televised. When's the last time you saw the Lions or Chiefs on TV? Since you are an Alabama fan, you can already appreciate the subtle uniforms and a team identified by color only. If you travel to see the game, you can also see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. What is there to see in St. Louis or Buffalo? A team from the AFC North has won 30% of the last 10 Super Bowls. Let's see any of the other bad teams on the league compete with an almost 1-3 chance of winning the Super Bowl each year.

All of this is based on the present, without even getting into the storied history of the franchise. While I find it highly doubtful that any other team can put together such a tight argument in support of your loyalty, I would invite the opportunity to respond to any one who tries.
I know it is early for you to commit, but sometimes right just happens fast. Look at Carmen Elektra and Dennis Rodman. Those two starry-eyed love birds should give us all hope.

Best Regard,

Director of Community Outreach and Fan Recruitment

Candy Corn, Jungle Cats, Purple Birds, and Unfinished Helmets - Uniforms, Colors, and Logos of the AFC North

This week we'll be wrapping up the uniform/color/logo analysis. As mentioned previously, please remember, everyone THINKS their team has the best uniforms, but most everyone is wrong. Also remember, my taste in this stuff is questionable at best and you're probably going to disagree with 99% of my opinions here. I'm o.k. with that.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens - So how can a team make purple intimidating? I present Exhibit A, the Ravens. The Ravens are among my favorites of all the new-school uniforms. The purple jerseys with the black helmets are among the most unmistakable in all of the league, while the all-black combo is just below the Raiders in terms of intimidation. Sharp uniforms all the way around that need no tweeks (which is a concern considering they've already changed the logo once since 1996). And again, any team that can intimidate you while wearing purple is good with me.

13/15

Cincinnati Bengals - ELIMINATED - Quite possibly the best helmet in football. Between the helmets and the stripes down the sleeves, sides, and pants, the Bengals are going to ensure that when you watch them play, you may not know anything about the team, but you will know that they are some type of jungle cat. And in an era when most o the uniforms start looking more and more similar and a team's idea of modernization is to make it's colors a little more tame, I respect the Bengals pure gaudiness. They are Bengals and they are going to dress like Bengals, darnit.

10/15

Cleveland Browns - ELIMINATED I'll give them this, they're unique. A lot of people will tell you that these are some of the best uniforms in the NFL. I don't understand those people. I suppose these are the same people who say that those cats with no hair are so ugly they're cute. Whatever.  I'm all for the traditional/classic/simple looks, but maybe not when you look like chocolate candy corn.

4/15

Pittsburgh Steelers - A classic uniform that, similarly to the 49'ers, makes the game LOOK more important. The signature gold pants and black helmets just reek of big-games and you can't go wrong with the black or white jerseys. The only team in the league to feature player numbers on the fronts of the helmets and the logo on only one side and I'm all for uniqueness. It's probably not a uniform that will ever undergo an update, and that's a good thing. 

12/15

Just the 22 Of Us...

As was pointed out in the comments section, the Bottom 10 gets a little screwy in the weeks where certain team analysis categories are not completed, as some teams are penalized because I, in my slowness, have not covered their division yet. This is a true and valid point, but one for which there is not a perfect solution. That is why I start with a different division for each category. Plus, it shakes things up a little bit from week to week. If a team ends up on the wrong end of the draw and falls into the Bottom 10 because they haven't been scored in a category yet, then they better hope they've got a strong enough appeal to keep from getting cut.

Even if I were to eliminate the uniform/logo/color points for every team, the bottom 5 remains unchanged. Besides, let's face it, I've got a pretty good idea where a lot of the teams will fall out in the future rankings as well. I don't think anybody is getting cut who isn't bound to get cut anyway. If these teams had actual ears (and cared about this at all) I'd just tell them they should have done well enough in the other categories, then this wouldn't be an issue.

So with that said, let's review this week's Bottom 10 one more time...

Chicago Bears -28

Tennessee Titans - 27

Jacksonville Jaguars - 25

Indianapolis Colts - 22

Minnesota Vikings - 19

Tampa Bay Buccaneers - 19

Baltimore Ravens - 18

Carolina Panthers - 18

Houston Texans - 17

New Orleans Saints - 15

And now, the cuts.  This week really came down to 3 teams, all 3 of which have been regulars in the Bottom 10, but for different reasons.  One is an organization with an uncertain future, one has a bright future but a rocky past, and the other, well, I just have no feelings for.  So which two are out?

Carolina Panthers: Here's the deal Panthers, I just have no feelings for you. Not good ones, not bad ones, just none. I don't like you, I don't dislike you, I'm completely apathetic. We both deserve better than that. Don't act surprised, we both know that your best attribute was that you were convenient. Outside of that, we've really got nothing. Best of luck and maybe I'll see you around.

New Orleans Saints:  Am I really going to eliminate the best team in the NFL who also happens to be the 3rd closest team to me? Yes. The bottom line is this: if I pick the Saints this year of all years, I'll never be able to look the true, longtime Saints fans in the eyes. Their fans have been completely tortured by bad football since the team's formation and are finally starting to feel like they arrived. If I jump on now, I'm basically the NFL equivalent of the guy who has been a Red Sox fan "since 2003". "How long have you been a Saints fan?" "Since 2009." "Oh, since their best year in franchise history? Congratulations." As a matter of fact, I doubt the true Saints fans even want me on their bandwagon right now, it's probably already getting crowded as it is. Sorry Saints, but you're a victim of your own success this time. I'm eliminating you out of respect for the real Saints fans who are finally reaping some benefits for years of true, painful fandom.

So who was the 3rd team?  The Jaguars.  Maybe it was the calendar, or maybe it's just the mystery of where this team is going to be 3 years from now.  I'm just not quite ready to pull the plug quite yet.  They, along with 21 others, live to see another week. 

The Bottom 10

It's Friday, which means it's cut-day. Two more teams from the Bottom 10 will be eliminated this afternoon. Here is this week's Bottom 10 (a little different with only half of the uniforms/logos/colors category completed). Who should stay? Who should go? Let me know what you think. This is going to be a tough one.

Chicago Bears -28

Tennessee Titans - 27

Jacksonville Jaguars - 25

Indianapolis Colts - 22

Minnesota Vikings - 19

Tampa Bay Buccaneers - 19

Baltimore Ravens - 18

Carolina Panthers - 18

Houston Texans - 17

New Orleans Saints - 15

And the Chiefs/Bears tie for the 10th spot this week shows that if it's a close call, you want to be the one who bribed me...

Desecration or Modernization? Uniforms, Logos, and Colors of the AFC East

Next up on the runway, modeling this year's winter line...

AFC East

Buffalo Bills - The colors are fine, but that uniform has a lot going on. Between the blue and white stripes down the helmet, the random assortment of blue and red designs on the road uniform, and the all-blue home unis, I just can't get on board here. I just can't picture Thurman Thomas and Jim Kelly wearing the current duds.

3/15

Miami Dolphins - You want variety? How about aqua and coral?!? Quite possible the least intimidating uniforms in the league. Then there's the fact that your logo is a dolphin wearing a football helmet with no face-mask and it doesn't even have your own logo on it. Granted, the all white uniforms actually look pretty nice, but when you start adding in the aqua jerseys or pants, it's just a little much. Tell me anywhere besides South Beach where it's ok for grown men to wear aqua and coral?

6/15

New England Patriots - Bring back Pat the Patriot!!!  I hate to keep beating a dead horse, but the modernization of the uniforms (a.k.a. darkening the colors) strikes again. It's not Pat the Patriot and the red jerseys, but the current Patriots uniforms do have a touch of class, though it makes zero sense why a team called the Patriots opts for silver over Red, White, and Blue.

8/15

New York Jets - Unique but classy, simple but bold. I like it. Nothing over the top here, just 2 colors, green and white (unless the Jets are really the Titans, then it's more of navy and gold, but that's another story). Not a lot to say here, just a good, solid uniform.


11/15

Burgundy to Blue...Uniforms, Logos, and Colors of the NFC East

Fashion week continues here on the SWF Network as we take a look at the clothing line of the NFC East...

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys - Just because it's the most popular jersey doesn't necessarily mean it's the best.    Thankfully for the Cowboys, they opt for the sharp and tidy white jersey at home over the navy version. Still, the Cowboys are yet another case where the their throwback/alternate jersey outshines their normal one. If they stuck to the stars on the shoulders, they'd fare much better in this category.


8/15

New York Giants - Can you name another team who can pull off completely different primary colors at home and on the road? The home jerseys? Blue and White. The road jerseys? White and Red. If it weren't for the helmet you would think it was two different teams...but it works for them. While it seems like 95% of the NFL teams were some combination of blue and red, the Giants do it well.

10/15

Philadelphia Eagles - ELIMINATED - The winged helmets are up there with the best in all of football and the actual logo is downright frightening. My only two complaints here are this: Why did you have to darken the green and can you ease up on the black? I'm baffled why the trend of the modern era is to take what were once great, bold, colors and darken them (see the Broncos and Rams) but I wish we could hit undo and give these uniforms some of their personality back.

8/15

Washington Redskins - I think it's safe to say that the Redskins are the only pro sports team to claim the color burgundy as their own. As long as they stick to the white pants, they pull it off well. The great logo and the gold face-mask make the helmet one of the best in the NFL. A cool, distinguishing uniform that I hope never falls victim to "modernization".


12/15

Bribes, Turncoats, and Creamsicles - Week 9 Roundup

Time to giveth and taketh away based off some good and some bad from Week 9…

Week 9

+2 Cincinnati Bengals via OchoCinco's bribe - I know, I know, I just eliminated the Bengals, but I've got to give credit where credit is due. If you didn't laugh when 85 walked to the replay official with a dollar in hand, then you have no sense of humor. Someone let OchoCinco know that I'm also willing to take bribes to "un-eliminate" the Bengals

+1 Pittsburgh Steelers via Mile-High Beatdown - In rural parts of Alabama, we call that a "whuppin"
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-2 Denver Broncos via Selling Tickets to the Enemy - Look, I know the Steelers' fans travel well and I know the economy is bad, but I am convinced there were more Steelers than Broncos fans at Monday night's game and that is inexcusable. Maybe you have to give up your tickets. Fine. But there had to be plenty of Broncos fans who would have taken a ticket to see their team play on Monday Night Football against the defending champs? Never sell tickets to an opposing team's fan. Never.

-1 New York Giants via Chokejob - If you're up 3 with 3:14 left and have 1st and Goal from the 4 on your home field, you probably need to find a way to win that game, especially if you've lost your last 3.

+1 Tampa Bay Buccaneers via No Longer Defeated - And we will not have another 0-17 team this year thanks to Tampa Bay's win over the Packers. Apparently they found that the winning formula was to wear throwbacks of some of the ugliest uniforms of one of the worst teams in NFL history. Whatever works…

-1 Green Bay Packers via Losing to the Creamsicles? - It's one thing to lose to a bad team, and it's another thing to lose to a team wearing the throwback uniforms of one of the worst teams in NFL history.

+1 Arizona Cardinals via Pat Tillman - I've been reminded of this incredible story this week in light of Veteran's Day. This is by no means anywhere near a fitting tribute to the hero that Pat Tillman is or for the sacrifice he made, but it's something that doesn't get discussed nearly enough. One of the most incredible stories in all of sports when you look at what Pat Tillman walked away from to follow what he felt was his duty to his country. Truly incredible.

What Might Have Been...Uniforms, Logos, and Colors of the AFC West

And we continue with the uniform/logo/color portion of the team analysis. As I mentioned in the previous post, there are three certainties in this category:

1. You undoubtedly think your team's jersey is the best in the NFL.
2. This is completely subjective and there is no way I can have a right or wrong answer
3. My personal taste is questionable at best.

Keep those in mind as you read the scores and question my sanity as I rank some of these teams.

AFC West

Denver Broncos - Another team that dialed back its uniforms a few years back to a tamer version and I just don't get it. How many NFL teams do we need wearing navy? What was wrong with the orange crush years? Don't be afraid to stand out Denver. Today's jerseys? The logo is awesome, but the color scheme is lacking in comparison to what it once was. I do like the alternate orange jerseys, these should be the norm instead of the more bland navy jerseys.

7/15

Kansas City Chiefs - Other than adjusting for a move from Texas to Kansas City, the Chiefs uniforms have not changed a whole lot over the years, sporting their distinctive KC Arrowhead logo on the helmets along with the classic red jerseys and a touch of gold. They're classy and simple. It's not a uniform most people throw into the argume of best in the league, but it's classy, traditional, and appropriate for the Chiefs.

8/15

Oakland Raiders - ELIMINATED If it weren't for the guys wearing them, these would be the most intimidating uniforms in the NFL. Perhaps no other team's colors capture the image they want to portray moreso than the Raiders. For a team wanting to be the bad boys of football, the uniforms are almost perfect. On a side note, is it just me or does the "raider" on the team logo have his non-patched eye closed? Also, isn't he actually a pretty friendly looking fellow (other than the swords and all). Just an observation.

14/15

San Diego Chargers - The lightning bolt remains one of the simplest yet most distinctive logos and the current helmets are nice. Still, the question has been asked so much it's almost cliché, but it remains true, WHY WOULD THEY EVER STOP WEARING THE POWDER BLUE? Once or twice a year does not suffice, these are some of the best uniforms in sports. Like the Rams, they traded in their distinctiveness and opted to err on the side of generic. I will give them credit for embracing the powder blue more in recent years via alternate jerseys and throwbacks, but isn't it time to get rid of the navy and re-embrace the powder?

10/15

Tacky or Timeless? Uniforms, Logos, and Colors of the NFC West

So we move onto the next category in the team analysis, and it is arguably the most subjective (and some would say least important). No one wants to cheer for the team with the hideous colors, so this is a factor in the team search. Now, a few things to keep in mind here:

1.  Every fan thinks "their" team has the best uniforms in the league. Every fan. Now, there are two schools of thought here, those that love the traditional/simple/classic looks and those that love the new-school/cool/modern uniforms. Both can be good, and if your team wears one or the other you've probably already talked yourself into liking that style more, it's just natural.

2.  There is absolutely no way I can be right or wrong here. I realize, if I don't give your team one of the highest scores then I'm inherently wrong in your mind, but I'm prepared to deal with that. The bottom line is this is nothing but my opinion. And on that note…

3.  I'll be the first to admit, my style is suspect. My favorite shirt is my highlighter-yellow polo shirt, I have a pair of white loafers that have been labeled as anything from "water shoes" to "gigolo shoes", and I have an affinity for argyle. So on that note, don't be offended by my choices here…

So with that in mind, let's see which teams are the most aesthetically pleasing…

NFC West

Arizona Cardinals - Fairly simple yet sharp. The cardinal red jerseys are a little generic, but the white road jerseys with the red shoulders are one of my favorites of the "new-school" class. The logo is simple but effective, with the Cardinal showing the perfect amount of fierceness without crossing too far into cartoonishness. They do (outside of the white helmets) lack a little bit of the distinctiveness of some of the great NFL uniforms, and granted, it's pretty hard to mess up red, black, and white, but the Cardinals have found a good balance between a new-school look with a classy feel.

9/15

San Francisco 49ers - The 49ers uniforms are in that unmistakable class of uniforms that seem to jump off a screen when you're flipping between games and let you know the 49ers are playing before the rest of your brain catches up to identify anything else. The home jersey is unmistakable and just gives you the feel of watching a big game. Is a lot of it due to the fact that we've seen so many great highlights with players wearing these same jerseys? Absolutely. Still, taking that away, can you think of any other instance where a male can mix red and gold and not look ridiculous? I can't, so I’m torn on why I think the 49ers uniforms look good. Have I been brainwashed by NFL films? Possibly. Still, there's something to be said for distinctiveness.

11/15

Seattle Seahawks - ELIMINATED - A very aquatic combination of navy, and blue the Seahawks apparently didn't want to branch out too far on the color spectrum when making their choice. As for the logo, I'm not sure if I showed it to someone with no NFL knowledge their first guess wouldn't be that it was a Seahawk (in fact, I don't think their first guess would even be a bird). Then, just as I'm about to say the uniforms are a little bland, I'm reminded of the unbelievably bright neon green jerseys that made their debut this season. I'm all for brightening up Seattle's colors a little, but a dash of white trim or maybe separating the colors by more than 2 shades would have helped. Instead, they gave new meaning to the nuclear option.

2/15

St. Louis Rams - ELIMINATED - If the Rams had never changed from the old school blue and yellow, they would have scored much higher. Instead, they traded in the boldness of the L.A. blue and yellow for a darker shade of blue and gold, opting for something a little more subtle. I still like the helmets, but liked them a lot better with the old colors.

5/15

In Honor of this Week's Bengals/Steelers Game

This video is a few years old, so ignore the fact that 99% of the players mentioned don't play for the Bengals any more, but it still sets the tone for this week's matchup and sort of makes me regret my decision to cut the Bengals...

Only 24 Remain...

Lots of points handed out today, so naturally we've got a big shakeup in the Bottom 10. Some teams worked their way out via some nice responses, which means some others fell in. Here's a look at this week's Bottom 10 from which two teams will be cut...

New England Patriots (21)

Kansas City Chiefs (20)

Minnesota Vikings (19)

Baltimore Ravens (18)

Carolina Panthers (18)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (18)

Houston Texans (17)

Oakland Raiders (16)

Cincinnati Bengals (15)

New Orleans Saints (15)

Some surprising names in the list. So who's getting the boot? The first choice isn't too hard to explain...

Oakland Raiders - For a long time the Raiders organization was the epitome of cool. Here were the NFL's bad boys with the NFL's most intimidating fan base. The black and silver struck fear in just about every NFL city (and was a popular clothing choice among the cool kids at school). Unfortunately, that really hasn't been the case for close to 20 years.  The Raiders of today are the laughingstock of the league and have truly turned into the "Black Hole" where no veteran wants to end up.  They draft terribly, they seem to change coaches almost every year, and then there's Al Davis. Considering the Raiders are headed for another losing season, no one has heard from Al Davis in months, and the National Organization for Women is protesting for the current coach to be fired, I wouldn't say that there's a light at the end of the tunnel quite yet. Sorry Oakland, I'm avoiding this train-wreck.

The second choice pains me a little, but I think it's time to part ways...

Cincinnati Bengals - No player entertains me more than Chad Ocho Cinco. He had me laughing every week on Hard Knocks, I read every one of his Tweets, I love his celebrations, I even watch his Ustreams from time to time. But, I think this may be one of those things best viewed from afar. The Bengals look like they're finally headed in the right direction this season and haven't had a player arrested in a quite a while. Still, there's a lot of bad history to overcome and I think Bengals fans would admit they're always waiting on the other shoe to drop. This one season isn't enough to convince me that I wouldn't be choosing a life of misery as a Bengals fan. They've got enough evidence to suggest that curses do exist and I don't think I want any part of that. As for Ocho Cinco, it pains me to say it, but let's just be friends. On the other hand, if some how and some way Esteban Ocho Cinco himself can make a plea as to why I should get on the Bengals bandwagon, maybe there is still room for them in a Wild Card spot. Until then, well, they're out. The ball is in your court Ocho Cinco.

Ranking the Responses

Over the course of the search I've received some great responses from to the letters I sent at the beginning (or just to the search itself).  So far, those teams haven't really been rewarded in terms of points or ranking (in fact, 2 have already been eliminated) so I think it's time to give some credit for these responses.  Granted, a great response doesn't ensure a team of anything but gives them an opportunity to state their own case on why their team is the right fit for me.  Some have done that through letters, some through gifts, and some through bikini calendars.  No matter their approach, I think the fact that they've taken the time to respond is deserving of at least a few points.  While the points are a tangible metric, the responses will no doubt be in the back of my mind when making eliminations as well.

Click on the team names below to review what each team's response included.

Buffalo Bills +12  - There can be only one "first" and no team will be able to replicate the excitement experienced when I opened the mailbox and had my first letter. That tingly feeling was brought to me courtesy of the Buffalo Bills.

Detroit Lions +4  - The Lions were a quick responder as well, and thus far are the only team to offer up a keychain. The Lions, however, stepped on some toes (mostly mine) by referring to me as a "Lions Fan", a mistake that multiple teams would make along the way, effectively serving as a flashing light alerting me this was strictly a form letter.

Tennessee Titans +5 - A simple but quality response. The Titans gave me the first bumper-sticker as well as bookmark.

Atlanta Falcons +3  - The Falcons had one of the more puzzling responses (no pun intended) as they were the only team to send a Word Search (within which a meticulous reader with a little too much time on his hands actually found an error).

Miami Dolphins +8 - The Dolphins provided a solid response including a bumper sticker, team photo, and my only pennant thus far. The only negative was that they, like the Lions, did refer to me as a "Dolphins Fan".

Green Bay Packers +10  - The Packers were the first team to send a letter through which it was clear that they understood what I was trying to do. They were the first team to acknowledge that I was seeking a team and offer their "persuasion". They also sent some pretty cool stuff including a flag, postcard, and team photo. Sometimes it's the little things that count, and by a simple acknowledgement that I was a "prospective fan" the Packers showed they care about the little things.

Jacksonville Jaguars +10  - No team has hung on in this search as a result of their response more than the Jags. They were on their way to being the first team eliminated until they pulled out all the stops with their response. Neglecting the normal response, the Jaguars instead opted for the autographed cheerleader bikini calendar and are alive in this search to this day as a result. Way to go Jags.

Kansas City Chiefs +8 - The Chiefs either put some thought into their response or were lucky to have a lot of Brodie Croyle autographed photos left over from the previous year. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt that they read the letter and saw I was an Alabama fan.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers +5 - The Bucs provided quite the grab-bag of swag, including an info card on their head coach and GM, a pencil and a couple of temporary tattoos. I did think it was odd to include a card on your GM and not any of the players, but then again I've also seen their roster.

Arizona Cardinals +20  - So far, the closest thing to a perfect response a person could ask for. If you haven't taken the time to review their response, please do so now. An extremely personal 2 page letter, everything from a t-shirt to a DVD to a car flag, and two tickets to a home game. The Cardinals hit an absolute grand slam.

Houston Texans +6 - The latest team to respond and the first to bring inflatables into the equation. They also followed Jacksonville's lead by going the cheerleader route, though theirs was in one photo and they were slightly more clothed.

Keep in mind that while some of these point totals aren't astronomical, I'm keeping these responses in mind as I make eliminations as well.  I just thought it was time to start assigning some tangible bonuses for the teams that did take the time to respond.

The Biggest Loser, Favre Bowl 2, and Vinsanity - Week 8 Roundup

Short and sweet for this week, just hitting the high and low points....

-2 Detroit Lions via Maintaining Their Spot In History - I know they've already been eliminated, but the Lions ensured that they would remain the only 0-17 team in NFL history by being slightly worse than a terrible Rams team. If the 72 Dolphins sip champagne when the last undefeated team loses its first game, what do the 08 Lions do when the last winless team finally wins one? Pour some out?

+1 New Orleans Saints via Staying Perfect - Is there a more fun team to watch right now than the Saints? It's amazing what a franchise QB will do for a team.

+1 Tennessee Titans via a Sign of Life - Chris Johnson goes off with 228 yards and 2 TDs (not shocking) but Vince Young is 15 for 18?

+1 Houston Texans via Playoffs? - Don't look now, but the Texans are 5-3. With few exceptions, this franchise has quietly improved each year and that Matt Schaub signing is looking pretty smart. Could they sneak their way into the postseason this year? That gave at Indy this week is suddenly a big one.

-1 Green Bay Packers via No D? - Remember all the talk Nick Barnett had about finally getting to hit Favre? Did he mean "let Brett Favre walk back into our house and put up 38 on us?" The Packers sacked Favre exactly ZERO times.