Thanks to Rick and Bubba

Thanks to Rick and Bubba for having me on the show this morning. The guys really sold their teams hard and Brett Favre showing up was a pretty big surprise.  Check them out at  www.rickandbubba.com.

4 Teams, Lots of Losses, and 1 Championship - History and Tradition of the NFC South

Let's be honest. No one is going to confuse the history and tradition of the NFC South with the NFC East or the NFC North. With a total of 1 NFL title between the four teams, I don't expect this category to be the division's strong suit. Luckily for the division, this is just one of the categories the teams are scored on:

NFC South:

Atlanta Falcons - There's really not a lot you can say about the early years of the Atlanta Falcons, but I'll give it a shot. They traded Brett Favre to the Packers, they introduced us to Neon Deion, and they appeared in M.C. Hammer's 2 Legit 2 Quit Video.

The Dirty Birds did have a nice run in 1998, posting a record of 14-2 on their way to a Super Bowl appearance against the Denver Broncos. Unfortunately, their most memorable moment from the weekend involved Eugene Robinson and an undercover police officer.

Things looked bright again in 2002 as the electrifying Michael Vick led the Falcons back to the playoffs. Unfortunately, we all know how the Michael Vick Experience ends.

3/20

Carolina Panthers - The baby of the division, the Panthers joined the NFL in 1995 but have had some decent success in their short existence. In just their second year as a franchise they advanced to the NFC championship game, but wouldn't make the playoffs again until 2003.

In the most successful season in their short history, the Panthers finished with an 11-5 record and returned to the playoffs for the first time in 7 years, advancing all the way to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, the game came down to an Adam Vinatieri kick and we all know how those go in the Super Bowl.

It's difficult to fairly rate the history and tradition of a team formed in 1995. A couple of good years, a couple of bad ones, but mostly about average.

8/20

New Orleans Saints - When your stamp on football lore is that your fans were first to wear paper bags over their heads, history and tradition isn't going to be something you want to spend a lot of time discussing. The "Aints" didn't make the playoffs in their first 20 years and failed to win a playoff game until 2000.

Despite all their failures, the Saints did have one of the more inspirational seasons in history. After New Orleans was devastated by Hurricane Katrina in the previous year and despite rumors of relocation, the Saints returned to New Orleans in 2006 and surprised all year long, winning the division and advancing to the NFC Championship Game.

It's true that the Saints now have one of the more promising young teams in the NFL. Unfortunately, they aren't considered in this category. 5 playoff appearances in 41 years? Who Dat?

2/20

Tampa Bay Buccaneers - The Bucs are the only team in the division with a Super Bowl title, so that's something. Unfortunately, they are also the only NFL team to ever lose 26 games in a row. In their defense, they were their first 26 games as franchise, but it's still not a record a team wants to own.

Between 1979-1982, the Bucs showed improvement, making the playoffs three of four years. They quickly returned to their "Yuckaneer" ways, failing to make the playoffs over the next 14 years. Tony Dungy started to turn things around in 1997, instituting a tough defense and becoming a playoff regular until his dismissal in 2001. The next year, Jon Gruden stepped in and led the team to their only Super Bowl title.

With a franchise record of 183-284-1 through 2008, it's tough to argue the Bucs have been anything but bad. Still, they have developed into a competitive team over the last ten years (current year notwithstanding) and they have won one more Super Bowl than a lot of teams.

6/20


Next up:  We continue the history/tradition breakdown with the AFC South

Green Bay Delivers

The Green Bay Packers have responded and may have raised the bar, not because of what they sent, but how they addressed it. Before I explain why, here is what their package included:

• Letter from the team (more on this below) 
• "G Force Unleashed" flag
• 2008 Packers Team Photo
• Lambeau Field Postcard
• Packers Helmet and Logo stickers
• Packers Magnetic Schedule
• Packers Pocket Schedule
  
• NFL Pocket Schedule
• Packers Temporary Tattoos
• Packers Fan Club Brochure

All in all, some cool stuff.  But it's not the stuff that got me here.  It's the letter.  The beginning reads as follows:

Dear Jason:

We welcome all prospective Packers fans!  You can learn more about the Packers and the interesting history of our team by visiting our website at www.packers.com.  We believe our story and the team's legacy will be all the persuasion you need.

So what's the big deal?  This the first letter that is a clear response to the letter I sent..  They view me as a "prospective" fan who needs "persuasion".  It was simple, but it was personal.   On top of that, they sent some pretty good stuff.

Thank you Green Bay Packers for taking the time to read the letter and for your response.  On a side note, can anyone tell me how long these tattoos last because a neck tattoo isn't as good of an idea now as it was twenty minutes ago.

Bienvenidos a Miami

Straight from South Beach, we've got a package from the Dolphins.  Contents include:

• Form Letter thanking me for interest in team "signed" by Head Coach Tony Sparano
• Dolphins mini-pennant
• Dolphins bumper sticker
• Dolphins logo sticker
• Dolphins bookmark
• Dolphins pocket schedule

I won't beat the dead horse about addressing the letter to "Dolphins Fan" this time...but we do have our first pennant so credit the Dolphins for originality.

Week 3 - What Not To Wear

Week 3 is in the books and for some teams, it wasn't pretty in more ways than one. As we do each week, let's give out some points:

+2 Detroit Lions via Snapping the Streak - Call it the Blessing of the SWF. In the same week that the Detroit Lions make their pitch to me, they also snap their losing streak at 19. Coincidence? Hardly.

-1 Tennessee Titans via Jeff Fisher's sweatshirt - Bill Belichik is not amused. Lucky for Jeff, his sweatshirt wasn't the ugliest thing worn on Sunday...

+1 Baltimore Raves via Explosive O - It's hard to watch a Ravens game without expecting a 17-14 slugfest. 38, 31, and 34 points in the first 3 weeks? Who are you guys and what did you do with Trent Dilfer?

+1  Minnesota Vikings via Favre's Game-Winning Heave - I confess that I've been a little harsh on Favre, but this was a heck of a play and the kind of stuff we've come to expect from him.  I'm tough but fair.

-2 Seattle Seahaws via the Lime Green Jersey Disaster - My vocabulary is not expansive enough to think of an adjective to adequately describe these jerseys. I have looked for some kind of logical explanation to these hideous things for two days now and can't find any reasonable defense.

-1 Tampa Bay Buccaneers via the Goose-egg - Byron Leftwich goes 7/16 for 22 yards? I have no idea how you average 1.4 yards per pass but I know it isn't fun to watch.

+1 Denver Broncos via Retroactive Point for Week 1 - I can admit when I'm wrong. I deducted a point from the Bengals for the Brandon Stokley but failed to give credit to the Broncos for pulling it off. If you missed the catch,  here's an accurate re-enactment.

SWF Live and In-Studio on Rick and Bubba

For any of you early birds, I'm going to be in-studio and on-air with Rick and Bubba Wednesday morning at 6:20 a.m. CST. (7:20 for you east-coasters).  To listen on-air or get the affiliate listings, check out www.rickandbubba.com.  If you've never tuned in, these guys are hilarious so be sure to tune in.

Link to www.rickandbubba.com

Video from ESPN First Take

In case you missed it, here is a link to today's ESPN First Take Interview:

ESPN First Take Interview

Check back later tonight on the site as more updates are on the way including another team's response.

Lights, Camera, Action

Big news - tune into "ESPN First Take" on ESPN 2 tomorrow, Tuesday September 29. Dana Jacobson will be interviewing me live around 11:30 a.m. ET to discuss the team search. The show runs from 10 to 12 so be sure to tune in. And no, I don't know what I'm going to wear...

Also, if you're new to the site, be sure to check out our these older posts that explain how I'm trying to find my future team:
1)  An Intro to the Search
2)  The Letters Sent to the Teams
3)  How The Selection Process Works

Delivery From the Dirty South

The Atlanta Falcons are in with an interesting conglomerate of goods composed of the following:

• Form letter thanking me for being a Falcons fan, explaining the Tony Gonazalez trade, giving an intro of the coaching staff and key players, and explaining community involvement.  
• "Fan Playbook"consisting of 5 trivia questions and a word search 
• 2 Falcons stickers
• Falcons pocket schedule

The letter is too long to reprint but here is the intro paragraph:

Dear Falcons Fan,

We are honored that you are an Atlanta Falcons fan and want you to know that you are part of the Falcons family. Whether on the field or in the community we strive to be responsive and show our appreciation to our fan. We are continuing to move forward in our commitment to create a winning team on the field, deliver an exciting game day experience, and give back to the community.

Now, as I said with the Detroit response, referring to me as a "Falcons Fan" at this point is not only presumptuous, but evidence that nobody read the actual letter.  However, I will give them credit for including some good information about the team including information on the current players and what they're doing in the community.  Definitely better than explaining how I can buy more stuff.

Thanks to Atlanta for the response.   Now, back to this word search...

Cold as Ice - History/Tradition of the NFC North

And we continue with the history/tradition category of the team ratings.  Again, this is a major category of the ratings portion, making up 20 of the 100 points. With that said, we look at the coldest division in the NFL:

NFC North

Chicago Bears - 9 NFL Championships, more NFL Hall of Famers than any other team, and one of the charter members of the NFL. The Monsters of the Midway were a powerhouse of the early NFL, winning 7 titles in the NFL's first 26 years. The Bears followed this with only moderate success over the next 40 years...then came the 80's...

Led by Coach Ditka, Jim McMahon, the Fridge, and Walter Payton, the 1985 Bears were not only dominant on the field, but in pop culture as well. Their incredibly awful rap "Super Bowl Shuffle" (enjoy it here) rose to #41 on the Billboard charts and they were immortalized in one of the greatest SNL skits of all time. Their on-field prowess was just as legendary, as they are still the measuring stick for great defensive teams.

While the Bears 9 NFL Championships is undeniably great, only one has come in the Super Bowl era. Still, that 1985 team carries historic weight matched by few teams.

16/20

Detroit Lions - The Lions history hasn't been ALL bad.  They did win 3 NFL titles in the 1950's.  They did have one of the most exciting players of all time in Barry Sanders.  That counts for something, right?

Still, outside of the 50s, futile would be a nice way to describe the Lions.  Sure they had a nice run of playoff teams in the 90s, but won only ONE playoff game (and that's all they've won since 1957). They're the only team to ever go 0-16 and their draft blunders are legendary.

The best thing going for the Lions history, the Thanksgiving Day game.  Still, it'd be nice if they weren't an underdog in that game from time to time. To be fair, 4 NFL titles are still more than a lot of teams can claim and the Lions history is a little better than its reputation, but these last 50 years have hurt.

6/20

Green Bay Packers - The Packers have the most NFL Championships (12), probably the greatest coach in NFL history, and by far the best ownership in the NFL history, so forgive me if I don't do their history justice in 2 or 3 paragraphs. Let's start with ownership. In an effort to keep the financially-strapped franchise in the small town of Green Bay, the team was literally sold to the fans. Currently 112,120 Packers fans share ownership of the team, with no one possessing a majority share. Talk about a vested interest...

The most dominant of the Packers' eras was without a doubt the 60s. Vince Lombardi led the Packers to 5 NFL titles between 1960 and 1967 including wins in the first ever Super Bowl and the legendary "Ice Bowl" the following year. The Packers struggled through the 70s and 80s until returning to championship form again in the Brett Favre era.

While the 70s and 80s show that no teams' history is perfect, its tough to argue with 12 NFL Championships

19/20

Minnesota Vikings - A relatively young NFL franchise with their start in 1960, the Vikings captured their first NFL championship just 9 years later. The 1970s Vikings featured one of the greatest nicknames of all time (The Purple People Eaters) and Hall of Fame QB Fran Tarkenton. During the decade they won 8 division championships and appeared in 4 Super Bowls, but came up short each time.

It looked like the Vikings were headed for greatness in the late 90s behind Randy Moss's freakish talent and a young, promising Dante Culpepper but things took a turn for the worse with Culpepper plagued by injuries, the Randy Ratio, and the infamous Love Boat scandal.

The Vikings organization got off to a fast start in the 60s with their first and only NFL championship. Since then, they've been consistently competitive, but haven't gotten back to that championship level.

10/20

Enjoy your NFL Sunday and we'll continue with the History/Tradition breakdowns early next week as we move to the AFC South.

From Tennessee With Love

And the Titans are in.  Contents include:

• Tennessee Titans "Support Our Troops" Bumper Sticker
• T-Rac bookmark
• Tennessee Titans pocket schedule
• NFL pocket Schedule
• Fan Info Sheet including info on how to order tickets, programs, and other memorabilia

Again (as is the theme so far) no response as to why I should choose their team, but they are sending me free stuff so I can't complain. How does their response stack up against Buffalo and Detroit? Tough call at this point.  Thanks to the Titans.

Check back later tonight for the breakdown of the history/tradition in the NFC North. 20 points are up for grabs.

No, Lucy Pinder and I Are Not Engaged

First, thanks to Jimmy Traina for the writeup and link to the blog at CNNSI Extra Mustard, as well as for doing the unthinkable and ensuring Lucy Pinder's photo comes up if you google my name.

Be sure to follow along on Twitter as well at www.twitter.com/singlewhitefan for instant updates and alerts for new posts.  You can email me at singlewhitefan@gmail.com as well.

Cast your vote and let me hear which team you think I should choose.  Also,  here is a link to the overview  and here is a link to the letters that were sent.  Thanks for checking out the site.

Message From the Motor City

And the second response comes from the Detroit Lions. Contents of the package include:

• Detroit Lions pencil
• Detroit Lions rubber helmet keychain
• 2 Lions pocket schedules
• Detroit Lions helmet stickers
• Thank you letter with order form for players/team photos, media guides, and program on the back

The thank you letter reads:

Dear Detroit Lions Fan,

Thank you for your recent request for Lions' paraphernalia. Because of the large volume of inquiries we receive, it is impossible for us to answer each one on a personal basis.

In complying with your request, we have taken the liberty of including several items that we hope you will find interesting.

Thanks again for taking the time to contact us and please know that your support of the Detroit Lions is very much appreciated by the entire organization.

Thank you,

The Detroit Lions, Inc.

For a Souvenier Catalog, Please Call (800) 616-ROAR

Now, I have 2 issues with this letter:

1)  Addressing this to "Detroit Lions fan" is a bit presumptuous at this point, isn't it?

2)  My letter was not a shallow "request for Lions paraphernalia", but merely a question of "why should I be a Detroit Lions fan?" Then again, maybe the only reason they can think of is, "because we'll give you free stuff."

In all seriousness, thanks to Detroit for the goods.

Week 2 - Voicemails, Fingernails, and Ticket Sales

Week 2 is in the books, which means it's time to giveth and taketh away for the week that was:

-1 Dallas Cowboys via the worst seat in the house - Last week, Jerry Jones got credit for his new scoreboard. Unfortunately I forgot about the view from this seat.. Face value? $75, which in a strange coincidence is the percentage of the field you can see.

-1 Dallas Cowboys via a housewarming party gone bad - I hate to kick a team while they're down, so in fairness, the 3 hour NBC infomercial on the new stadium was great. The Cowboy's performance? Not so good. Romo proved he can have a terrible game without the help of Jessica Simpson, the Cowboys D couldn’t get a final stop on the last drive, and the $1.15 billion super-stadium is christened with a loss.

-1 New England Patriots via missing their mojo - Rex Ryan better learn quickly that there are 2 things you just don't do. 1) Trash-talk Belichik or 2) Trash-talk Brady. Oh, wait…

+1 New York Jets via Rex Ryan - Between the trash-talk, the rookie QB, and the pleading voicemail to ticket-holders, this shouldn't have ended so well for Rex.


-1 Minnesota Vikings via Brett Favre's fingernail - I was all ready to be fair here and give Favre credit for setting the record for most consecutive regular season starts…then I see the headline that he's going to but then I see a headline about his bent fingernail? I have zero doubt this is painful, but I can't talk about a guy's iron-man streak when there's a headline floating around about his fingernail…

-2 Jacksonville Jaguars via the blackout - If your home opener has to be blacked out because you can't sell it out, that's a problem. At least ownership has a plan.

+1 Tennessee Titans via play-by-play man Mike Keith - How does this guy still have a voice? It can be a 2nd and 6 in first half against the Texans and he's screaming like it was the Music City Miracle. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing, but it's impressive.

+1 Indianapolis Colts via Peyton making it look easy - Yes the Dolphins had the ball 45 minutes to Indy's 15 and yes they outrushed the Colts by 170 yards, but when the Fish could never get up by more than 7, was there any doubt how this was going to end?

-1 Washington Redskins via too much Suisham - Your only points against the Rams (not exactly the 85 Bears) come from 3 field goals??? If there are moral victories, this is a moral loss.

+1 New Orleans Saints via lots of points - 93 points in 2 games? Please, I can score that in a half on Madden.

+0 Cincinnati Bengals via Ochocinco's Lambeau leap - If 85 leaps into a sea of green, this is worth at least 2 points. Instead, he opted for the conveniently located Bengals fans.  Technically, he did the Lambeau Leap. On the other hand, he technically Lambeau Leaped about like Michigan's summer workouts were technically voluntary.

That's all I've got for Week 2.  More team history/tradition scoring and hopefully more team responses in the days to come.

Greetings From Buffalo

And we have our first team response courtesy of the Buffalo Bills.  Included in the package -

• Bills Gameday program from the Bills September 3 preseason game vs. the Detroit Lions
• 2 NFL Rush Zone stickers
• Bills schedule
• 8x10 print of Marshawn Lynch 
• 2008 (yes, 2008) team photo. 

 A curious choice of the suspended Lynch as the featured player in the photo as well as last year's team as opposed to the current one, but regardless, I truly appreciate the gifts and the Bills will always hold a special place in my heart for being the first to respond.  I'll start awarding points once we hear from some other teams, but as for now we have a leader in the clubhouse.

A Tale of Three Teams - History and Tradition of the AFC North

As laid out in the points breakdown, one major category of the team ratings is History and Tradition. Some would argue the best way to predict a franchise's future is by looking at its past. This gets a lot tougher when comparing franchises who have been around for anywhere from 12 years to the NFL's inception, so keep in mind that we're not just looking at wins and losses (though it's definitely a big factor).  First, we'll take a look at a division with a historical juggernaut, a traditional punchline, and a team torn between two cities.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens - And we start with one of the more complicated cases in all of the NFL - the history of the Baltimore Ravens. Baltimore football has a fairly rich history including three NFL Championships (pre-Super Bowl), 2 Super Bowl Championships, and Johnny Unitas. Unfortunately, all that history moved to Indianapolis in 1984. Another historic franchise, the Cleveland Browns moved to Baltimore in 1996. Unfortunately for Baltimore, the NFL ruled that the Browns name, history, and colors were to remain in Cleveland. In one of the more confusing decisions in Baltimore not involving Hamsterdam, the Ravens were effectively an expansion team despite bringing over the ownership, management, and player contracts from the Browns organization.

So, keeping with the NFL's ruling, the Ravens history starts in 1996. A short history for sure, but still a solid one. A franchise built around an aggressive, hard-hitting defense (and sometimes hard-to-stomach offense), the Ravens won a Super Bowl title in 2000, division championships in 03 and 06, and have 5 playoff appearances since 2000. Not bad for a 12 year old franchise.

Sure, they're technically lacking a long storied history, but what history they do have is impressive. It's tough to penalize them for the NFL's inconsistent treatment.

Score: 11/20

Cincinnati Bengals - Zero NFL Championships, a franchise record at 82 games below .500, a terrible draft history, and googling "Bengals" and "cursed" returns around 343,000 results. They were a drug relapse and dropped interception away from their first Super Bowl title in 1988. You'd be hard-pressed to find an "all time draft busts" list that doesn't include Akili Smith and Ki-Jana Carter. Their former head coach does run a steak house with his last name on it. Unfortunately, it has his Dad's picture on the logo.

More recent history hasn't been too kind to the Bengals, either. Their most promising season since the 80's ended with their franchise QB being carted off the field. When a Cincinnati police officer lets Ole Miss coach Andy Kennedy know arresting a big name such as himself is no big deal because "We deal with the Bengals all the time," well, that's not a good sign, either. Their latest first round draft pick holds out a month into the preseason, shows up about 30 pounds overweight, and then breaks his foot in a non-contact drill the first day back. But hey, a franchise can't really be cursed can it?

However, as I've said, this category isn't all about wins and losses. While the on-field success of the Bengals is probably deserving of the "Bungles" moniker, they have made their mark in one aspect of the NFL: the touchdown celebration. The Ickey Shuffle was revolutionary, controversial, and paved the way for guys like Deion Sanders, Terrell Owens, and the Bengals' own Chad Ochocino to put on the real show after they cross the goal line. In a franchise where so much has gone wrong, this has to count for something.

Score:  5/20

Cleveland Browns - As mentioned earlier, the history of the Cleveland Browns includes an interruption in service from 1996-1999 after Art Modell fled town to form the Ravens. Prior to 1996, their history is somewhat confusing to score. They dominated the AAFC all four years of its existence, winning all four titles. After joining the NFL in 1950 they won 4 championships before the NFL-AFL merger. However, since that time, they have failed to even appear in a Super Bowl.

Their history does include arguably the greatest football player in NFL history in Jim Brown. It also includes legendary moments such as "The Drive" and "The Fumble". Unfortunately for the Browns, they were on the short end of these plays and both kept them out of Super Bowls. Still, the Browns were a playoff mainstay in the late 80's behind Bernie Kosar. Once the 90s rolled around, things took a turn for the worse, bottoming out in 1996 but with almost no signs of contention since.

An early football powerhouse, possibly the greatest player of all time, and some legendary (but heartbreaking) moments...but failing to appear in a Super Bowl hurts.

Score: 9/20

Pittsburgh Steelers - If the Ravens were one of the harder franchises to score, Pittsburgh is one of the easiest. Six Super Bowl Championships, only three coaches since 1969, and one family owning the franchise since 1933. They brought us the Steel Curtain, the Immaculate Reception, and most importantly, Slash. It's pretty rare to hear a description of Steelers football that doesn't involve "hard-nosed". They're the epitome of stability. I don't want to understate this so let me repeat myself from earlier - they have had a total of THREE coaches since 1969 including the current one. Keep in mind that 7 NFL coaches were fired during 2008 alone and marinate in how impressive this stat is.

In fairness, Pittsburgh hasn't been dominant since its inception. The franchise won zero championships prior to the Chuck Noll era. They went through two badly named mergers with the Eagles (The Steagles) and the Cardinals (Card-Pitts, or Carpets) during World War 2. As the Steel Curtain retired, the team struggled in the mid to late 80s, missing the playoffs every year except one from 1985-1991. But really, isn't this grasping at straws for the team with the most Super Bowl Rings?

If it weren't for the "Steagles", Pittsburgh might have a perfect score here. They're still pretty close.

Score: 19/20

Next up is the NFC North. In the meantime, if anyone from Cleveland asks, you haven't seen me.

Week 1 - Great Hair, Good jerseys, Bad Karma

As mentioned earlier, each week I'll look at what went on around the league and award/deduct points based off these events. This is one of the factors in determining the team's overall score, meant to capture more of the immediate reaction and snap judgments of the search. With this being the first week, there were also some off-season storylines and developments that I'd be remiss to overlook. With that in mind, and in no particular order, here are the points for the offseason/week 1:

+2 Cincinnati Bengals via Chad Ochocinco - This guy has captivated me via Twitter and HBO Hard Knocks for the entire offseason. He's introduced "Kiss Da Baby" and "Child Please" into my everyday vocabulary. Like myself, he has an unapologetic and undying love for McDonald's, going so far as to advise people who want to get into shape to eat McDonald's all they want and just work out a lot. I admit to finding myself watching his live UStreams for extended periods of time as he calls every rapper in his IPhone. If he follows through on some of his promised end-zone celebrations he will find himself on this list on a regular basis and may singlehandedly keep the Bengals in this competition. However…

-1 Cincinnati Bengals via The Brandon Stokley Touchdown - The left side of my brain tells me that there is no such thing as a cursed franchise. Then the right side points out this play, the Andre Smith injury, and about 30 other plays in NFL history that lend credence to the fact that maybe the Bengals are just not supposed to win. Do these plays get overblown because they happen to the Bengals? Probably. Can my heart handle cheering for a team with this kind of luck? Let me get back to you on that.

+1 Oakland Raiders via Johnnie Lee Higgins and his high-top fade -One of the best names in the NFL, and now has one of the best hairstyles.  Check it out.

+1 Minnesota Vikings via Adrian Peterson - 180 yards, 3 TDs, 1 bloody arm, and this quote: "I gagged myself a couple times trying to get everything in my stomach out. Normally it makes me feel better and it did. I came in and got an IV and felt recharged and rejuvenated and was ready to go to work." That's a good week.

-2 Minnesota Vikings via Brett Favre - I'm not going to continue to beat this dead horse since it was done by every media outlet for the entire offseason, but this is just a small measure of payback for the annoyance this ordeal caused me for months. It looks like it was a good signing, so I don't fault them, but I've got to hold someone responsible.

+1 Miami Dolphins via the Wildcat - Why? Because they call it the Wildcat. Not the Wild Dolphin, or Wild Tuna, or Wild Flipper. Just the Wildcat. Thank you.

+2 Pittsburgh Steelers via Troy Polamalu - He may be my favorite defensive player in the NFL to watch. He was all over the field in Week 1 (including a sick one-handed interception) until hurting his knee. And like Johnnie Lee Higgins, he has great hair.

+1 Oakland Raiders via Week 1 AFL Throwback Uniforms - The difference was subtle, but I was a fan of the silver numbers and slightly understated helmets. Judge for yourself.

-1 Carolina Panthers via Jake Delhomme - 6 turnovers in Week 1? 11 in his past 2 games? $20 million contract extension in the offseason? Ouch.

+1 New Orleans Saints via Drew Brees - 6 touchdown passes would be impressive against East Texas Baptist. It is slightly more impressive against the Detroit Lions.

+1 Dallas Cowboys via their new scoreboard - Kudos to you Jerry Jones. You build the world's largest scoreboard, build it to NFL approved specifications, and stand by your scoreboard despite league protests, complaints, and skied punts. Your scoreboard causes an official amendment to the NFL rulebook but you stand by your guns and refuse to raise it…until U2 comes to town. You, sir, are a pillar.

So that's Week 1. A little later (and shorter) than will probably be the norm, but we're officially underway. If I missed something you think was points-worthy (by addition or subtraction) let me know and I might revisit it in the next week's review. We'll get underway with the team analysis soon and dole out some points for Week 2 in the days to come.

The Blueprint

So with the letters floating somewhere between the Birmingham post office and the mailboxes of the 31 NFL teams, now seems as good of a time as ever to explain a little more of the nuts and bolts of this search. Since I've been watching the NFL for about twenty years and haven't had any spiritual enlightenments as to what team was right for me yet, I suppose I can't expect this year to be any different without setting some type of guidelines. So in the words of American philosopher Montell Jordan, "This is how we do it."

1) Team Analysis - The NFL teams will be grouped based of their current NFL divisions. Then, on a division by division basis, the teams will be analyzed and scored on the six point-weighted categories below. Each post will analyze a division based on one category. For example, in the first post we may analyze the history/tradition of the AFC South teams, then with the next the NFC South, etc. Once each division is covered, we move to the next category. Divisional standings are kept throughout the season based off the points that are accrued through this analysis as well as the others detailed in this post. The six categories we will look at are as follows :

a) History/Tradition (20 points) - As a rule of thumb, one way to predict the future of a sports franchise is to look at its past. If a team has been a bottom feeder for the past 40 years, odds are they're not about to turn into a dynasty for the next 40. I'm not necessarily looking for the winningest or most storied franchise (though it can't hurt) but for a history/tradition that I'd be proud to associate with my team for whatever trivial reason I so choose.

b) Location (15 points) - This isn't just about which team is the closest. It can be a variety of factors. How easily can I travel there? Is the city somewhere I would want to vacation between September and February? Do I hate the city already? Is it necessary to wear a Teflon vest on the walk to the stadium?

c) Logo/Colors/Uniforms (15 points) - I'd like my team to be aesthetically pleasing.

d) Fanbase (15 points) - If I'm joining a brotherhood of fans, I need to be comfortable with the company I'm going to keep. Are they passionate? Will they ever accept me? Any strange rituals that I would prefer legally to not be associated with?

e) Current Team (20 points) - When it's all said and done, whatever team I commit to at the end of this search is going to closely resemble what that team looks like this season from a personnel prospective. Will players and coaches change in the future? Absolutely. But if I'm not drawn to the current team make-up, it's going to be tough for this commitment to stick. It's going to be hard to pledge allegiance to a team knowing that I can't stand half of its players. Kind of like how you marry a girl for the lifelong, unchanging qualities (or so I've heard), but you're probably going to want to be attracted to her right now as well. Exact same concept.

f) Intangibles (15 points) - This is the gut-feeling and more subjective portion of the program. What is that team's reputation? Do I just have a bad feeling overall? Does the mascot creep me out a little? Did I have a strange dream involving me, Al Davis, and a time-traveling mongoose? It's all fair-game here.2) Weekly Events - In a weekly review post, I'll take a look at the previous week in the NFL (including that weekend's games and anything that may have occurred off the field) and award/deduct points based on those events. I don't mean just wins and losses, I mean anything that gets my attention. For instance, Johnnie Lee Higgins's high-top fade in Week 1 is going to get the Raiders a bonus point. On the other hand, the Bengals will lose one because to give up that game-winning catch to Stokley lends credence to the fact that they're just a cursed franchise and I'm not sure my heart could handle that every week.

We're only talking about a few points here and there each week, but over the course of a season, entertaining me on a consistent basis can pay big dividends for a team. Besides, at its core, isn't true fandom based off immediate overreactions and short-sightedness?

3) Replies to Team Letters - As I receive replies to the letters that have been mailed, I will award points to the teams based on their responses. Let's be honest, an autographed Neil O'Donnel game-worn Super Bowl XXX helmet is going to garner more points for the Steelers than a Seattle Seahawk re-usable grocery bag. Materialistic? Maybe. On the other hand, if some team sends me nothing but a letter and it can make me cry, they're getting big points for that, too.

4)  Fan/Reader Response -Additional points (up to 10) are awarded for arguments/responses (including the poll to the left). I'm the first to admit that if you're a fan of an NFL team, you know more about that team than me. This is why I want you to let me know why you think a team is right for me. The better you argue your team's case, the more points they get. So comment, vote, tweet me, whatever. Just make your own case for what team you think is right for me.

5) Playoffs - Once each division has been scored on each of the categories, the regular season has concluded, and I've given ample time for the teams to respond to my letters (all of which should conclude around the same time as the regular season), the playoffs will begin. Following the NFL format (the top teams in each division and 2 wild cards (based off highest point totals) from each conference) will face off head to head with seedings based off total points. Here, anything goes. I'm not bound by the points previously awarded, though they're definitely a factor, but will look at anything deemed relevant (including the responses and arguments I receive along the way). If there was ever a time to passionately argue your team's merits, this is it. I'll analyze each matchup and select a winner. Just like the big boys do it, we'll go through the Wildard Round, Divisional Playoff, and Conference Championship until we're left with just 2 teams, one NFC and one AFC, facing off for my allegiance, a "Super" match-up if you will.

Once we reach the final matchup, I will painstakingly analyze both teams on every level imaginable over the course of several posts. At the end, I will make one of the toughest decisions I've been faced with in my 26 years and choose the team I am going to commit the remainder of my life to. Simple, right?

With all of that said, I'm looking for feedback, reactions, observations, or anything you think I need to know. Do you think I got a team rating wrong? Tell me. Did I miss something during the week that was worthy of a bonus point? Let me know. Comment, tweet, email, whatever. I want to hear your opinions. I'm not above admitting I was wrong and revising a score as needed. I'm looking for all the information I can get. No one wants to get this pick right more than I do.

Hey Mr. Postman

And the letters are out. After spending two hours and more money than I'd care to admit at Kinko's, I've sent the following letter to every NFL team asking them to state their case as to why I should be a fan of their team (or to just bribe me). Some pics of the letters are attached as well (I bet you can't name ten things more exciting than pictures of letters). We'll see where this leads, but as responses come in I'll post them. However, if you think I'm so shallow that I can be persuaded by a free t-shirt or a Fathead or an all expense paid trip to the Super Bowl then you're exactly right.

In the next post, I'll get into a little more detail on how this selection process is going to work. In the meantime, here's the letter:

To Whom It May Concern:

I'm a 26 year die-hard sports fan. I'm in more fantasy sports leagues than I'd care to admit. My house is adorned with pictures and memorabilia of my favorite teams (Dodgers, Lakers, and University of Alabama). I'll watch just about any sporting event that comes on TV. I have just one problem: I have no NFL team.

This is why I'm writing you (along with the other 31 teams). I need an NFL team to call my own. For too long it has been the one major sport I could casually watch without any real emotional investment, flipping between games to catch the biggest game of the day while monitoring the guys I have on my fantasy team. I am ready to settle down and find a team to spend the rest of my life with. Over the course of the next year, I intend to choose that team, to commit to them, and to support them whole-heartedly for the rest of my life. The selection process will be very thorough, as I will examine each team on its different attributes including tradition, current make-up, location, fan-base, uniforms, and various others. I will keep a running blog (www.singlewhitefan.com) and Twitter account (www.twitter.com/singlewhitefan) throughout the selection process in order to document how the search is going, who has been eliminated, and ultimately which team I choose.

This is no small task for me as I take my "fandom" very seriously. Therefore, I am asking you to make it clear to me why I should become a fan of your team. Please show me what it is about your team that will make my lifetime investment worthwhile. Boast of your merits, convince me of your potential, or bribe me with free stuff. Whatever best makes your case.

While I want to know why I should support your team, it is only fair that I explain why you would want me as a fan. First of all, I'm extremely loyal. My allegiance to the Dodgers, Lakers, and the University of Alabama goes back as far as I can remember and has remained consistently firm. While this loyalty has paid off with some unbelievable memories of buzzer-beating wins, monumental upsets, and the thrill of championships, it has also resulted in heart wrenching losses, silent drives home along southern roads from rival stadiums and midnight trips to the grocery store to avoid watching highlights of blown games. I also do my part economically. I buy merchandise (officially licensed of course), I subscribe to television packages to watch as many games as possible, and I plan my vacation and weekend schedules around attending games in person. I've only missed one University of Alabama home football game in the last eight years (I was in Ethiopia) and travel whenever possible to see the Dodgers and Lakers (including trips to Atlanta, St. Louis, Memphis, Orlando, Cincinnati, and of course Los Angeles). Overall, I make the teams I follow a major priority in my life and support them fervently and whole-heartedly.

So, in summary, I'm a single white fan seeking an NFL team to love and I need you to convince me that your team is the right team for me. Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,



Jason Spires
Single White Fan

Single White Fan Seeks NFL Team

I'm a single white fan seeking an NFL team to love.

A large portion of my life is defined and controlled by sports and the teams that I love. Right now, those teams are the Lakers, the Dodgers, and the University of Alabama. There's one glaring hole in my sports fan resume...an NFL team. For a 26 year old American male, that is completely unacceptable.

Now don't get me wrong, I love watching the NFL as much as anyone, I'm just not invested. I appreciate everything that is going on and may cheer for a player or two if they're on my fantasy team or if ESPN ran some sob story about the backup left guard having to raise his thirteen siblings by himself while working nights at Krystal as a 15 year-old, but that's about as far as my emotional attachment reaches. Never has watching a team lose left me paralyzed on the couch for hours. Never has watching a team win sent me into some strange state of euphoria where I hug everyone in sight. It's a casual relationship. It's convenient, non-commital, and empty.

I'm ready to change that. I'm ready to settle down and be a one-team man. I want to look forward to and dread Sunday afternoons, knowing that my week will be far too heavily impacted by something over which I have absolutely no control. Now, I'm not looking for a team to root for this season, or even for the next few. I'm choosing for a lifetime. I'm sure that choosing a spouse will be almost as important of a decision one day, but as of now this may be the most life-rendering choice I've ever made. You see, I was born into fandom of my other teams through my Father's allegiance. It was nature and nurture. This is different. This is the first time I have ever had to actually choose a team, and I must confess, I'm scared to death.


So what do I bring to the table as a fan? I think I can explain this best through a few random facts: I bought a house and realized the only pictures I have are Dodgers\Lakers\Alabama related. I never had a pair of Air Jordan's, but did have a pair of Air Nomo Max's (proof -
http://www.instyleshoes.com/khxc/index.php?app=ccp0&ns=prodshow&ref=178027411).
I walked around Walmart until 2 a.m. alone after the Lakers blew a 30 point lead in the Finals to avoid watching highlights. I drove over 20 hours and spent too much money to watch the Lakers close out the championship in Orlando. I have a Nick Van Exel Lakers jersey. I stopped dating a girl because she brought magazines to an Alabama football game. I cried in my bathroom the night Kobe got arrested. I sent Tim Tebow's brother a facebook message to try to sell him on Tim committing to Alabama. My vacation schedule is normally scheduled around when the Lakers and Dodgers are within driving distance or what bowl Alabama is going to. I'm writing this from the backseat of my Dad's jeep as we drive from Cincinnati to Alabama after watching the Dodgers\Reds. My friend and I rewrote "We Didn't Start the Fire" to be a song about Alabama football (we are up to four verses). (It just became increasingly clear to me why "single" still applies).

Are tons of people more fanatical than me? Absolutely, but I'm definitely above average. Not to toot my own horn, but I'd be a heck of an asset to any NFL fan-base if you ask me.

So how am I going to pick a team? Good question. Here's the plan (in short):

First, I'm going to spend the next few months looking at each team and the attributes of each. I will go into more detail of this in the future, but basically I'm going to look at and rank these attributes (updating these rankings as I learn something new, as things happen during the season, or if I just change my mind) and this is going to play a major factor in the decision. This is a lifetime commitment, so I'm going to do my due diligence.

Secondly, I'm sending a letter to every NFL team asking them to make their case as to why they're the team for me. Where will this lead? Who knows. Maybe a form letter they send to every fan that mails them. Maybe I get a free t-shirt (and don't underestimate the power of a bribe). Maybe Jerry Jones arranges a charter flight for me to join him in the owner's box for every home game so he can wine and dine me and teach me what it means to be a Cowboy. I am fully prepared for any of these possibilities. Regardless, I'm going to be thrilled just to hear back from a team and I will post any of these responses as I get them.

Third, I'm hoping that a few people take the time to read this, follow this, and try to advise me. Maybe you want me to pick your team. Maybe you decide "you know, I really hate this guy" so you want me to pick your rival. Maybe you will just say "man, this guy would make a great _____ fan". I would be thrilled with ANY of that. In reality, a total of 5 people will ever actually read this, 3 of them will be family, and by the time I pick a team I will be both the author and the lone reader, but that's ok, I will have an NFL team. But, if for whatever reason you do read this, let me know what you think whether you know the team for me, or if I'm completely wrong about your team. I trust you know more about some of these teams than me. Educate me. Advise me. Persuade me.

So here we go. Consider this my personal E-Harmony page. I'm ready to settle down and pick the team that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.